NF | HOPE LISTENING PARTY!
TODAY IS THE DAY I'VE BEEN LIVING FOR!!! 🎉💙👊
This came out last Friday, two days after I snagged tickets to see him LIVE on tour this summer!! Since I was out of town on vacation with my family, I decided to wait and listen to the album, top to bottom, start to finish when I had uninterrupted time to myself so I could dissect every lyric, sound, vibe and feeling and most likely shed a few tears. AND THAT DAY HAS FINALLY COME!! STARTING NOW!!
LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!! 👊🙌🙏✊🔥
I'm weirdly nervous...IDK why! 😅
HOPE - SEE MY REACTION HERE! This song still goes so hard and gets me in the feels every single time! Especially the ending! 🔥😭👊 I'm still battling FEAR and his voice is loudest in my head ("You'll never evolve...We are not enough...You don't have the heart, you don't have the strength, you don't have the will, you don't have the faith. You'll never be loved, you'll never be safe, might as well give up, you don't have the guts, you're the one afraid) but I'm trying to break free and take the REINS.
MOTTO - SEE MY REACTION HERE! This song is so fun and cocky I love it! The music video is my favorite thing! You have to watch it!! 😂
CAREFUL (feat. CORDAE) - 🔥🔥🔥 THIS SONG SLAPS!! HOLY FREAK! YEAH. WOW. HE'S HOOOOOMMMEEE!! This verse...this verse right here... "Called up my dad and I told him I got you. You wanna retire, then do it, you're good. Called up my grandma and told her it's time to move out of that basement, let's get you a crib. Called up my manager, told 'em get ready, it's 'bout to get busy this record is, ah. Called up to God and I asked 'em you watchin' my back? He ain't say nothin' back but I heard what He said 🔥👊🙏🙌 When you see how I'm livin' the answer is obvious ain't it. When you go from poverty stricken and stressing 'bout buying the groceries to not even having to look at the total you know you've been blessed. Sharing the wealth, ain't no point in me keeping this all to myself. I ain't taking this money with me to my grave, yeah, I might as well bless all the people I love" 💙👊🙌 Stop it. Stop it right now! 😭 He's a REAL ONE Y'ALL! What a good human. That's all. He's a good human. CORDAE had barz too! "I was talkin' to God, 'bout what's real or what's not, all He said was remain faithful" 🔥🙏 "Lost souls at a crossroad" HE JUST REFRENCED A LINE IN HOPE!! "Was a lost soul at a cross road who had no hope but I changed that" 🔥🤯 Excited to see him LIVE with Nate! 🔥 This whole track is just Nate being grateful and safe and secure and confident in his life and with who he is and it's just SO GOSH DARN INSPIRING and WONDERFUL to hear! 💙😭
MAMA - I don't know if I'm ready for this one...😰 I'mma get those tissues ready...Yep. The tears are flowing. That was truly beautiful. Good for him. That's all I can say. I can't imagine what he's gone through but wow. I had chills from the second it started and I'm wiping away tears here at the end. What a beautiful song about forgiveness, compassion, empathy, grace and peace. For some reason it made me think of my relationship with my own mom. She's always been such an exceptional mother to me but my relationship with her hasn't always been very good...and it's all my fault. I push her away. I blame her for some things. Which is so unfair because I know she struggles with a lot of the same things I do. She doesn't deserve my anger and frustration and blame. I want to change that. I can't imagine losing her. I know she loves me so much and I love her too but I don't always show it and I know it hurts her. Wow. This song just opened my eyes and made me really self-reflect. I can't waste anymore time. I'm grateful I still have time to improve my relationship with my mama. The whole first verse about his mom meeting God in heaven had me bawling. 😭 Jesus is so good, He understands perfectly what each of us goes through and I believe He offers His grace more freely then we can even begin to imagine. And the ending when he says "I just hope you finally got some peace and you feel happy mom, I love you." 💗😭 Hearing him say that after the heartbreaking screaming and crying he did at the end of How Could You Leave Us is a total one eighty! It's SO INSPIRING! To take all of that pain and hurt and anger and now find such love and compassion is amazing. He's amazing! He's come such a long way. I'm so happy for and proud of him. I know it's probably something that still hurts him and he's still trying to cope with ("Still got a lot of things that I need healing from but I'll get there eventually, so don't you worry none") but wow. Good for you Nate! This song has the potential to help fix , heal and change so many hurting and broken relationships and feelings. 💙 I can't stop crying!! Seriously. He hit it out of the park on this one!!
HAPPY - Verrrrry interested to hear what this one sounds like! A music video for the song came out last week but I haven't watched it yet...I can't tell if it's going to be sad or happy based on the small teaser clip I saw...let's find out! NATE IS SANGIN' Y'ALL!! 🙌💙 He pretty much SINGS the ENTIRE SONG! This one was soooo different but I LOVED it! It made me so emotional and teary eyed. The chorus is especially relatable for me. There was a moment last week I remember sitting with my family and for no reason at all I was feeling absolutely miserable. I felt so angry and annoyed and depressed for no reason at all and at a time when I shouldn't have been. I was on vacation with my family, eating a delicious breakfast, about to watch General Conference. I had just recovered from a fairly nasty case of pink eye in time to go on this trip, finally feeling healthy and normal again. I was about to enjoy an entire week of relaxing and shopping and eating out and enjoying family time. I didn't have to babysit that week! So much good was going on in my life at that moment and I felt depressed! I remember sitting there and thinking to myself "I don't think I'm capable of truly being happy." Like, nothing works. I have so much, I've had amazing, spiritual experiences that touched me deeply. So HOW, why do I keep waking up feeling like this!? I can have "happy moments" but then I go back to being this miserable, depressed, pathetic person ("Even unhappy people can have happy moments"). It was such a dark feeling. I wanted to talk to someone about it but didn't want to ruin the vacation for everyone else who, quite frankly, needed it more than I did. I was in such a funk for no reason, it didn't make sense to me at all and I hated myself for it. This chorus captures and expresses my feelings in that moment, and many moments I have experienced just like that one, perfectly: "Livin' in my agony. Watching my self-esteem go up in flames, acting like I don't care what anyone else thinks. When I know truthfully that that's the furthest thing from how I feel. But I'm too proud to open up and ask ya to pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in, the truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who I'd be if I was happy." 😭 I'm literally crying! This song was great! And shows that Nate is still on the SEARCH even though he's made a ton of progress...it's weirdly comforting since I feel so far behind everyone else in my own "search" and life. This is a repeater, go-to song for sure! I love it even though it hurts. It's just too real-atable. 💔
PANDEMONIUM - 🔥🔥🔥💣💥🤯 WHOA!! He's pickin' things right back UP! This gave me Real, Returns, CLOUDS and LAYERS vibes all in one!! Everything about it is just COOL! So many switch ups and sound effects and drama! The title does the sound of this song justice! 😆 And HIS CONFIDENCE!?! 🙌👊🔥 WE LOVE TO HEAR IT!! 👏👏 GO OFF NATE!! LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! 🗣📣 I am curious about this line tho: "Far from done got so much left to give you. Not the man I was that person detrimental. 2020 me could never hold a candle to the present day me standin' here before you." Sounds like he's come a long way...also, SO HAPPY he's "far from done, got so much left to give you." I'M HERE FOR IT SIR! Keep going forever! 👊💙
SUFFICE - 🔥💣💥😲😱🤯👊🔥 HE HAD NO RIGHT GOING THIS DANG HARD!!!! My jaw was on the FLOOR throughout half of the whole track! Totally made me think of Options which is one of the best NF songs ever! There is SO MUCH going on here!! Let me try to break it down a little: 1) "Career lifespan lookin' good, it ain't slowin'" YES! 👊 2) "How are you claimin' we had a baby, we ain't never spoke? I don't be sleepin' out here with random woman on the road. They want a DNA test to prove it, I'm like here you go. I could've saved you a bunch of time and told you the results. Lookin' for hush money from me, you ain't goin' get it though." NF HAD A FREAKING BILLIE JEAN EXPERIENCE!?!?! 😱🤯 WHAT IN THE ACTUAL WORLD!? I NEED DETAILS!! That verse was WILD!! 🤯 3) "I've been to hell and back ever since that first EP came out with all I Have on it, I've been given all I have, wasn't really prepared for the pain I was gonna have to go through to get to the end result that I knew I wanted. Hoped I would make an impact in rap, has that been insane? Yes, but it was worth it, I can't imagine if I would've gave up and just turned my back on this music where would I be now? Don't know how I would of made it out from underneath that rainy cloud." 🔥🔥 THIS.WHOLE.BAR. 🔥🔥 SO MANY CALLBACKS AND REFRENCES!! SO COOL!!! I LOVED THAT SOSOSOSOSOOOO MUCH!!!! 💓 4) THIS: "If there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's that life is uncertain. Gettin' burned is unavoidable isn't it? Ain't a person alive that hasn't been a victim of bein' lied to, we're all hypocrites. Givin' our two cents but not listenin.' All livin' in our own worlds thinkin' that we're right, when the fact of the matter is a closed mind is the mind of an idiot. Don't believe that's true well, open it." 🔥👊 HE DOES THAT WHOLE PART ACAPELLA AND IT'S SO FREAKING INTESNE IT FEELS LIKE A PUNCH IN THE FACE! 👊😲😮 UGGGGHHHH!! THAT WAS SO SICK!! I'M SWEATING!! 😅 WOWOWOWOWOW!!
GONE (feat. JULIA MICHAELS) - I've been super excited to hear this one! I was really surprised to see Julia Michaels as a feature since she's pretty well-known and has collaborated with a lot of "big name" celebrities...I hope it's up to my expectations...I have no idea what to expect!! Gah! Why am I so nervous!? 😲🤯🤯🤯😵😲 This...was...CRAZY! Ummm...not what I was expecting AT ALL. I think I liked it, hahaha. But...I'm so blown away right now. 🤯 I thought this was going to be a love song for his wife but all of the sudden it turned into a song about an ex?? And then there was this cRaZy break down after the first chorus where it went loud and hard, then completely cut out and then a soft piano, cut out and then loud and hard, repeat! 😲🤯😵 I literally thought something happened and the app had crashed or the song accidentally skipped! Their voices blended beautifully but...wow. That was SO unexpected!! I think I'm going to really like this one after the initial SHOCK wears off, hahaha. Because I LOVE that Nate is SINGING the whole time again!! 😍✊ I love when he sings and wish he would do more songs where he just sings. Also, do you think this is the relationship that he referred to in I Just Wanna Know?? 🤔 Did Nate and Julia used to date!? Lol, totally kidding. 😂 Maybe this is simply just a song with no actual history behind it...but I kinda doubt that. This is NFREALMUSIC after all. Either way, he isn't pining after an old love, that's for certain, though this relationship clearly had a big impact on him.
BULLET - OK I LOVED THIS SO MUCH!! 😍 THIS IS THE SONG ABOUT HIS WIFE!!! 💙😭 It's so personal and sweet and beautiful!! THIS WAS JUST GREAT!! She's clearly an amazing and strong woman. He's made small remarks about his wife in a few songs before this (i.e. Leave Me Alone, Paid My Dues, Time(?), etc.) but this one was very clear who it was for and about and GAH! That was so cute!! 😍💙😭💓
TURN MY BACK - 😲😲😲🤯🤯🤯 HO-LY. W-O-W. NF WENT OFF!! HE JUST...HE...IS HE ALLOWED TO DO THAT!?! Hahaha, for real tho!! WHOA. This was "cocky" NF on level 100!! 💯 He just...my jaw hurts it was so far open, hanging down! 😲😵 WOW. He totally just called people out!! 💣💥 That was INSANE!!! "My home, my stage, my place, less you, more Ye. More Drake, more Em, more Dre, more Cole, more Kendrick. More names, Cordae, Sean, 6lack, my list, my names, my picks, my taste. My fate in my own hands, hand it over to you, no chance. Wanna get the job done right, I do it myself, oh yeah. I am what they wanna be, who they wanna see, the big man. God's plan, got a problem with the boy take it up with Him then." LIKE... was this a compliment to those rappers or not?? I don't KNOW!! I doubt he'd be dissing/calling out Cordae since he has a freaking song with him on this album...let's continue. "I'm the co-signer, you the broke artist. I'm the captain and you in coach flying. I'm the lead roll, you in the background, yeah. I'm the star player, you the mascot, yeah. I'm the future, you the past, old-timer. I'm the truth and you the bold-face liar. I'm the CEO and you the customer. I'm the front man and the ghost, ghost writer. I'm the creator, I'm the director. I'm the hit maker, I'm the empire. I'm the shot caller, I'm the showstopper. I'm the real one, you the fake knockoff" ❗❗❓❓💣💥 "Ye's documentary was inspirational to me, I love watchin' lames try to keep stars in the dark just 'cause they afraid of ya. 😲😳 Funny how they switch up quick when they realize that your name buzzin.' Funny how they all wanna hop on board when they see the wave comin.' Funny how they wouldn't put me on the tour now they hit me up and say, "I hope you doing well. We should do a tour or somethin'" WHO IS HE TALKING ABOUT??? WE NEED THE TEA NATE!! 🍵NAMES!! SPILL 'EM! "Twelve people on a song, man, to each his own, but for me that's a little wild. Got enough people in my business, I don't need another hand dippin' in the pot...I don't need my name comin' out your mouth. I don't need you usin' me to get respect. I don't need a picture with you for some clout. I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you tellin' me you got some doubts. Worry 'bout yourself. I don't need your help. What's your name, what's your name, what's your name? Doesn't ring a bell. Every time I look down and your number pops up on the cell shake my head, threatenin' me tryin' to get me to respond, well, if you really knew me you would know that that's the quickest way to make me turn my back on you and…" YOU CAN'T END IT LIKE THAT NATE!! 😱😱 I'm gonna have to go read comments and wait for my reactor bros to get to the bottom of this "don't mess with me!" track! I am shooketh! 💀
MISTAKE - "I feel like I'm at a standstill waiting for you to tell me I'm OK. If time heals, tell me why do I kill myself tryna show you I'm not a mistake. I've got qualities that I'm not proud of, I've made promises that I walked out on. I've had days I feel I don't deserve love so think what you think, just don't call me a...Mistake, might of made some can't argue with that, but I ain't one. Even though I sometimes get afraid of having to face the wrath of an anxious me..." 😭💔🔥✋ This song is another one I'll be replaying the heck out of! It's another one that brought tears to my eyes and hit me deeply. As much as I love his bangers and love hearing about the happiness and peace he's found, I still relate most to his songs like this one. And I feel like this is another one where Nate is talking to Fear again. He's trying to tell Fear and Pride and all the other negative emotions that war inside that he's NOT a mistake; because they constantly tell him he is and wants him to believe it...and sometimes he does. Or did. That's what I got from this song. It's a theme song for me. Trying to convince myself that I'm NOT a mistake. This one was deep for me. Hit me in the personal feels. 😰
LET EM PRAY - NF GOT NO TIME FOR THE HATERRRRZZZ!!! 👊🔥💣💥 This was LIT!🔥 Paid My Dues vibes through and through! This is going on my work-out playlist immediately! Nate pumpin' himself up! Hahaha, I love it!! 👊 Loved it! 👏👏
RUNNING - I hate when I get to the last song!!! 😭😭 This album has been a freaking ROLLERCOASTER!! 🎢 Up and down, up and down, around and around! 😵 So many emotions and feelings happening! 🔥👊✊💓💔😲😱😭 OK, on to the final song...let's see what he cooked for us....Immediate first reaction....WHOA!! 😲🤯💙 An acoustic guitar intro?? 💙🔥 What is this!?!? 🙏🙌😭💓 WHAT A WAY TO END THE ALBUM!! 💙💙 This just immediately became my favorite track...after HOPE because nothing will top that for me. 👊🔥😭🙏💙 Um. YES. Just...YES! 🔥😭💙 This song was beautiful!! NATE SINGING!!! 😍 AGAIN! It's the best!! A tiny little rap section but mostly singing. He goes from soft and gentle, to a little rap to EMOTIONAL PASSION!! 🔥😭🙌💙 To me, this is Nate saying good-bye to Fear forever! And the lyrics make it sound like it's a little bit of a "Stockholm syndrome" relationship he has with Fear...it's almost hard for him to let it go. And I totally relate to that. I get it. 100%. This track has me all in my feelings and head. 😭😭 I want to get there...but I'm not. 😔 Yet. But I LOVE this song and it's becoming a new anthem in life for me. Between HOPE and RUNNING I'm praying to find the peace, resolve, courage and strength Nate has so clearly found! 🙏
Overall Thoughts: Well this was an adventure!!! 🔥😂👊💣💥😲😭💔💓💙 I got pretty long-winded on several songs, no surprise there! This album really was "something different!" I loved the album, don't get me wrong with what I'm about to say next...but there is a teeny, tiny part of me that feels a little sad after listening to it. It's Fear. He doesn't want me to love it and to feel it fully. He doesn't want me to take courage and HOPE and inspiration from it. I'm so happy for Nate. I truly am. That man deserves everything and more, he's been through Hell and grinded his way out! I guess I'm just feeling sad for me. I'm comparing myself because I have issues with my age and my life journey, experiences (or rather lack of), etc. I'm stuck in Mansion. That's where I'm at. I'm depressed and trapped and so very afraid. Going through NF's journey has been eye-opening for me. The first step is to talk to someone and ask for help. "Some would say having a mental breakdown is a negative thing which on one hand I agree with on the other hand, it was the push I needed to get help and start the healing process." That's where I'm at. Rock bottom. I need to get help and start my own healing process. Discovering Nate and his REAL music has to mean something. I've felt too personally affected by it. It's time that I decide I'M the one in charge and take the REINS! 🔥👊 Overall, a solid album, 12/10!! New soundtrack to my life...with all of this past music too!
"Y'all know that sound, better raise your fists the search begins, I'm back, so enjoy the trip, huh!" ✊👊
"Hope...I'm on my way, I'm coming. Don't, don't lose faith in me. I know you've been waitin.' I know you've been prayin' for my soul. Hope, hope" 🙏
Thank you Nate. 💙
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