NF JOURNEY: HOW COULD YOU LEAVE US?

Song: How Could You Leave Us?

Artist: NF

The title of this song alone has me nervous...my brother had told me that NF's mom had died from a drug overdose and that's why he's so against drugs and drinking and he's mentioned his mom in a couple of his songs on Mansion...so this one is going to be emotional. 😢

😦😨😰😭💔

STOP!!!! THIS WAS TOO MUCH!! I'M CRYING!! 😭

Ugh. Wow. That was rough. That was so freaking sad!! I actually cried while listening to that even though I can't relate at all. The EMOTION in his voice! From the anger during the rap sections to him LITERALLY CRYING in the chorus!! You can feel his pain. You don't have to have experienced abandonment and death the way he did in order to empathize. If you DON'T shed a tear while listening to this song WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?? You must be the Devil himself because NO ONE could get away with hearing NF break down SOBBING and not be affected by it! THAT ENDING KILLS ME!! 😭💔 He's screaming in anger while crying from pain and sadness and fear all at the same time. Wow. This was so hard to listen to! That was the realest and rawest song I've probably ever heard from any musician ever. I read in the comments that his "break down" at the end was unplanned. There was suppose to be another verse but NF was getting so upset and emotional he had everyone leave the room and then just went for it. Spilled his heart out. I totally believe that because, like I said, you FEEL IT.

I probably won't be listening to this one very often. Only when I need a good cry. Lyrically and phonetically the song is so good but in too sad of a way. It shouldn't be that good....but it is?? I don't know. This was deep on so many levels. It feels and sounds too personal...like I'm reading someone's diary. NF is incredibly brave to have shared such a personal song like this. MAJOR RESPECT. 

I can't highlight any of the lyrics because they're all good but so heartbreaking it doesn't feel right. 😢

How could you leave so unexpected?

We waited, we waited for you,

But you just left us

We needed you, I needed you

Yo, I don't know what it's like to be addicted to pills

But I do know what it's like to be a witness it kills

Mama told me she love me, I'm thinking this isn't real

I think of you when I get a whiff of that cigarette smell, yeah

Welcome to the bottom of hell

They say pain is a prison, let me out of my cell

You say you proud of me, but you don't know me that well

Sit in my room, tears running down my face and I yell

Into my pillowcases, say you're coming to get us

Then call a minute later just to tell us you're not, I'm humiliated

I'm in a room with a parent that I don't barely know

Some lady in the corner watching us, while she's taking notes

I don't get it, mom, don't you want to watch your babies grow?

I guess pills are more important, all you have to say is no

But you won't do it will you? You gon' keep popping 'til them pills kill you

I know you're gone but I can still feel you

Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us here?

How could you leave us here?

How could you leave us? Why would you leave us?

Oh, hey

I got this picture in my room and it kills me

But I don't need a picture of my mom, I need the real thing

Now a relationship is something we will never have

Why do I feel like I lost something that I never had?

You should've been there when I graduated

Told me you love me and congratulations

Instead you left us at the window waiting

Where you at mom? We're too young to understand where you at, huh?

Yeah, I know them drugs, they got you held captive

I can see it in your eyes, they got your mind captured

Some say it's fun to get the high but I am not laughing

And what you don't realise and what you're not grasping

That I was nothing but a kid who couldn't understand it

I ain't gon' say that I forgive you 'cause it hasn't happened

I thought that maybe I'd feel better as time passes

If you really cared for me, then where you at then?

Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us here?

How could you leave us here?

How could you leave us? Why would you leave us?

Oh, hey

Our last conversation. You and I sat in the living room

Talking 'bout my music and I brought you some to listen to

You started crying, telling me, "This isn't you."

Couple weeks later, guess you were singing a different tune

You took them pills for the last time, didn't you?

They took you from us once, I guess they came back to finish you

Crying my eyes out in the studio is difficult

Music is the only place that I can go to speak to you

It took everything inside of me, not to scream at your funeral

Sitting in my chair, that person talking was pitiful

I wish you were here, mama, but every time I picture you

All I feel is pain, I hate the way I remember you

They found you on the floor, I could tell you felt hollow

Gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles

You gave everything you had plus your life to them pill bottles

Don't know if you hear me or not, but if you're still watching, why..?

Why would you leave us? Why would you leave us here?

How could you leave us here?

How could you leave us? Why would you leave us?

Oh, hey

[Sobbing]

SPOKEN: "Sometimes I think about like—

Sometimes I think about things like, you know, when I'd have kids and like

You won't be there, you know? You won't be there for any of that.

I'll never get to see you again.

Sometimes I wish I would have just called you, I wish I would have just picked up the phone, wish you were here.

I mean you should have been there for us, you should have been here.

Pills got you, right?

Them pills got you, right?

I wish you were here"