Music is my Therapy

One year. One year since our last cuddle. One year since the last time I felt your kisses on my face as you licked away the tears that wouldn't stop. One year since I held you in my arms and hugged you close. What I would give to go back and share one more day with you. To  feel  you in my arms again. To  smell  you and  hear  you and  see  you in real life. What I would give to go back 1, 5, 10 years. So we could be together again. I would relive it all. Every single thing. Just to be with you. 💔 I didn't know how to commemorate the one year mark of the worst day of my life . "Celebrating" felt like the wrong word to use. But of course I  want  to remember and honor my sweet puppy dog today. I didn't get to spend the day as I would have liked. I wanted more time to myself; to listen to the music that I've dedicated to him and spend the day looking at all the photos and videos of his life. His  perfect  life. 🤍🖤 All month I've been anticipating this da

Song: 3 AM Radio Artist: Jack Johnson I'm giving some context behind this month's song. July has been a doozy. Not only did I face my dog's first birthday since he's been gone but we unexpectedly lost my grandpa . And now, we are just two short days away from the absolute worst day of my life , the one year mark since my sweet puppy's been gone. One year ago from today, I had to make the hardest decision of my life which was to decide, with the help of my family, to let my truest and best friend in the world, the source of all my joy and happiness and the reason for my life, be put to rest. It took everything I had to just nod my head and acknowledge that it was, as hard as it was to say it, time. The day I had been dreading for the past two years. I still can't get over the fact that it's been an entire year . It doesn't feel possible. It feels like it was just yesterday. I think about him every single day and miss him every single moment of every si

Song: You Are the Answer Artist: Goo Goo Dolls Another single from Goo Goo Dolls upcoming album Chaos in Bloom! From the title I'm getting ballad vibes...in the same vein perhaps as Acoustic #3 , Bulletproofangel and Autumn Leaves . Live reaction, coming up! I knew it was going to be a ballad! Wow! 😍 What a different vibe from the Googs (even more then the songs I mentioned above!). I love the lyrics (what's new - I'm a lyrics gal!). This is giving me Hanson mixed with Billy Joel vibes, lol. Probably because it's mostly a piano ballad. Never heard anything like this from them before. Not my favorite, but I approve! 👍 The message is very needed. 💜 Searching for truth can be a fool's game Some people lie right through the smiles Don't rip the heart off of your sleeve And is it wrong to carry on with all you ever knew? The curtains drawn, you're hanging on to all you thought was true You know the answer isn't lost on you 'Cause I know the answer i

I've gained another angel today. 🤍 🕊 My beloved, sweet, hilarious, strong, tender, wonderful grandpa passed away peacefully early this morning. I can't believe he's really gone. I'm at that place of feeling numb and not fully believing it's real and  having a constant sob bubble up in my throat with hot tears streaming down my face.  It all happened so fast. The last time I saw him when he was "normal" was on Father's Day, June 20th. I wish I'd talked to him more that day. Spent more time with him. That had been a difficult day for me, I was feeling overly anxious and not myself. I can still remember the funny things he did and his big, boisterous laugh! That laugh...I will miss his laugh for the rest of my life!! 💔 It was the biggest, most jovial laugh you ever heard!  My grandpa's death was so shocking and came so fast. It was so unexpected. One minute he was in our home, laughing, visiting and eating dinner with us and the next he had suf

Happy Heavenly Birthday to my Angel Baby!! 🖤🤍💔 Today has been nice but I also feel emotionally drained. This is the first birthday of my sweet boy in 18 years that I'm "celebrating" without him. He would have been 18 years old today if he were still here. I know most dogs don't live that long. I wish they lived forever. That they didn't leave this earth until we do. That they stayed with us forever.  I woke up early this morning and went on a slightly grueling but doable hike with some of my family members. It was hard but it was one of those rewarding hikes where you feel proud of yourself for making it and the way back took about half the time it did going up.  I've been thinking about my dog all day long. When I got home from my hike I found an amazing gift from my aunt. It's a statue a little over a foot tall, that she painted and it looks exactly like my dog! 🖤🤍😭 From the coloring, fur texture, the way he's sitting down to his beautiful, bea