Music is my Therapy

Song: Learn to be Lonely Artist: Mimi Rodgers from The Phantom of the Opera This has been a rough week. Since Monday , I have just been feeling extra depressed about everything in my life. I've felt like crap all day long. Everyone is annoying. I hate everyone. I hate life. I've been feeling really hopelessly lonely as of late. I have no one. And I'm sorry but, I don't want to keep counting my family! Don't get me wrong, I love them and I am grateful for them, but I need other people outside of just my family. I want to know what friendship feels like again. I want to know what having a crush feels like or knowing what if feels like to know someone has a crush on me. I want to be in love. I want to kiss and hug and hold someone. I want to feel loved and wanted and desired. I want to find purpose and meaning in my life. I have no idea what I want to do with my life (career wise). I didn't go to college, so I'm not smart and I don't have good cred

Song: Mad World Artist: Peter Hollens I just overheard two people talking about me and my problems and how they are "concerend" about me. I'm pissed. Why not come talk to me about how you feel instead of talking about me behind my back!? Today has sucked. I've wished death over continuing to attempt at living. I'm owning my feelings right now and being real "I don't want to live." I have no desire to keep living. I don't have suicidal thoughts, I just don't want to be here anymore. I feel very alone. I asked God for either death or that he send me a friend. I want love. I want friendship. I just pray that someone could love and accept me for who I am, my past and all my scars. It's not pleasant. It's messy, it's pathetic and it's sad. Anyway, this song came to mind as I sat wallowing after over-hearing my life being discussed. Everyone likes to talk about how I have no life and all I do is sit around and avoid things, bu