Music is my Therapy

FEAR was heavy. I love it, I feel it but it was intense. It's uncomfortably close to what life has been feeling like for me this past year. I've been listening to the song FEAR on repeat especially when some stuff happened this weekend that made me really upset and feeling very alone, overlooked, uncared for and abandoned. It made me think "I have NO ONE. No one who really cares about me. I'm told things to my face and then forgotten about the second they walk out of the room. So, I'm done. I'm done reaching out and sounding super desperate. I'll just do it on my own, like always."  So yeah. Not feeling in the best of spirits. Been making lots of selfish mistakes, binge eating my feelings away and isolating. SO. In an effort to feel a little better, I've decided to do another listening party! It's holiday time and I want to enjoy all the Christmas music while I can because I'm ready for it! I haven't listened to my faves BRAND NEW Chri...

Song: Christmas Day Artist: Mat & Savanna Shaw MERRY CHRISTMAS ! !   🎄🎅🎁🍬🍪🌟🙏 What a fun day!! I loved getting to spend time with my family. It was traditional, new and different all at the same time, but it was still a beautiful, wonderful holiday. Despite not getting ANY snow 😭 I love my family so much it makes me want to cry! I'm so blessed. Even if now, here at the end of the night I'm feeling depressed and sad for the holiday to end. I'm feeling sad for my single aunt who hosted the past two days and then we all left her alone. It makes me feel bad for her 💔 I already feel sad for myself (always, of course) that all of my siblings got to go home with their significant others, but at least I have my parents and dog. My poor, sweet, over the top, but very loving aunt just had to watch everyone leave and was left alone with somewhat of a mess. We'll be back over there tomorrow to help her clean up but still. She put so much work and effort to make it sp...

Songs: Christmas Wishes, Later Never Came, I'll Begin Again Artist: From, Scrooge: A Christmas Carol Today is "Bah! Humbug!" day on my calendar...something I recalled last night as I was watching A Muppets Christmas Carol. So today, I decided to watch another version of A Christmas Carol on Netflix. As much as I love this classic story of Christmas, hope and change, it also makes me incredibly sad. It's probably because I see so much of myself it Ebenezer Scrooge. Besides the hating Christmas bit, I see myself becoming the lonely, selfish, miserable old miser he was. I've felt that way for years now, as I stay stuck in my selfishness, stubbornness, fear, pride and regret.  I don't know what it was about this particular version of A Christmas Carol, a film I've seen several adaptations of before and have read the book multiple times, I believe it was the music, but I couldn't stop crying! It's kind of embarrassing but after the scene where Scrooge ...

Song: O Holy Night Artist: Pentatonix Yesterday's song was....actually so weird. 😬 What was I thinking!? Sorry about that...😅 Today I'm sharing O Holy Night by Pentatonix,  TWO ways! Their original version from clear back in 2012 (🤯) and their STUNNING version from just last year. Please enjoy and may it bring you the peace and comfort you may be seeking, something we could all use a little bit more of.  2012 2023 THE PASSION ! 😍😭💓

Song: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing Artist: The Goo Goo Dolls This has become one of my favorite Christmas songs over the years so I'll always share whatever cover I find and love...especially if it's by one of my favorite artists 😉 I remember wondering how this song would come across by the Goo Goo Dolls and I was happily surprised! They totally did it respectfully justice. Lyrics in video 👆

Song: Christmas Time Artist: Hanson This song has resonated with me so strongly this year! I'm just blown away by the power behind the lyrics, especially knowing how young Hanson was when it was written. I also knew I wanted to feature Hanson today since their member's Christmas concert livestream was yesterday but I just finished watching it today!! I was planning on watching it live but decided to watch Christmas movies with my parents because there are only 10 days until Christmas and I haven't watched ANYTHING! 😰 The count down is ON! One Christmas movie every day from now until December 25! The concert was OH SO WONDERFUL! 💓🎄💚 I loved every second! It was festive and inspiring and Hanson is just Hanson and they DON'T MISS! EVER! 😍 I just ADORE them! It has been the BEST year of HANSON for me!! 💓💚💙😭 From the fantastic month of May I had re-listening to EVERYTHING Hanson , the new EP being straight 🔥 top to bottom and my 2024 summer JAM , the FA...

Song: White Winter Hymnal Artist: Pentatonix I have a tradition of re-watching ALL of PTX's Christmas music videos throughout the holiday season. And thankfully, I've shared pretty much all of them here on my blog, so they're easy to find and access. Or so I thought. WRONG! I was SHOCKED and ASTOUNDED to discover that I have NEVER in my 10 years of musical blogging, shared this most ICONIC song/video from the legends themselves!! 🤯😱 That's changing this INSTANT! Enjoy one of the first songs that started my PTX Christmas music obsession so many years ago... I was following the [8x] I was following the pack All swallowed in their coats With scarves of red tied 'round their throats To keep their little heads From fallin' in the snow And I turned 'round and there you go And, Michael, you would fall And turn the white snow red as strawberries In the summertime I was following the pack All swallowed in their coats With scarves of red tied 'round their...

Song(s): Better When I'm Dancing & I'm Not That Girl Artist(s): Meghan Trainor from, The Peanuts Movie & From, Wicked I know these two song choices are sooooo random and don't go together at all but bear with me! I watched The Peanuts Movie last week because Charlie Brown gives me all the holiday vibes and it was so sweet and cute! I should have shared this song then, but I decided to feel sorry for myself instead 😬 But I had to include it today since, to me, it fits this time of year so perfectly! Cozy, nostalgic, sweet, pure and tender. 💗  And then I knew I had to share a Wicked song today since I just saw the movie! It was WONDERFUL and magical! The hype was well earned! I decided to share the number that stuck out the most to me. Technically, that would have been the EPIC ending with Defying Gravity but I don't want to spoil that for anyone, so I'm going with this one. It was hard not to compare the singing of every song to the original cast (esp...

Song: Alone in the Universe Artist: From, Seussical the Musical This song just came to mind as I pondered on what to share today. I listened to the Seussical album quite a bit back in March while celebrating Dr. Seuss and his birthday. I introduced the music to my nephew and he LOVED it! In August, we got to go see a local production together on a little auntie-nephew date and it was so much fun! We both LOVED it and I loved spending that one on one time with him even more.💚 I find this song relatable. It's about feeling alone and desiring to find a connection with someone who will understand you... And I've always loved the character of Horton who is the main focus of the play so this number really spoke to my heart. I love the world of Dr. Seuss and how he encourages children (like myself) to have an imagination and believe in the impossible! ✨ [Horton] I've been guarding this clover for over a week Getting laughed at For thinking that dust speck can speak Well, let th...

Song: Thanksgiving Song Artist: JJ Heller It was a beautiful Thanksgiving holiday! 🙏🦃 My family and I enjoyed a delicious feast of all our favorite Thanksgiving dishes (my coconut cream pie was the star of the night once again, nbd 💁😉), played games, went on a brisk, fall walk, chatted and enjoyed one another's company. I got to watch the entire Macey's Thanksgiving Day parade, something I look forward to every year (there was even a Wednesday float! My girl! 🖤 The ULTIMATE collision of all my favorite holidays - H a l l o w e e n  🎃 T h a n k s g i v i n g  🦃 and the lead up to Santa Claus officially ushering in the C h r i s t m a s season! 🎄). I was able to stay in a good mood all day and never started feeling too sorry for myself, just grateful. For family, good food, comfort. Health. Music. Life.   I'm so  blessed. 🙏 Thank you God for everything. I don't deserve it, but I'm grateful.  Just listened to this song for the first time today. It's a ...

Song: Family Artist: Zach Gill & Jack Johnson I'm grateful for my family. 💗  I know I've been a downer these past couple of days and have allowed my jealous insecurities to rule my life, but at the end of the day, I'm so grateful for my big, loud, crazy, beautiful family! I still struggle with the fact that so much has and is and always will continue to change. I still miss the "old days" and how things were all of the time. But I'm grateful that I get to still spend time with my siblings and parents and that we all love and accept each other. I'm grateful that I'm so close to my family. It makes me sad to think of the future when everyone will really be "grown up" with families of their own and being together won't be as much of a priority as it is now (I see this with my own parents and their siblings). I fear I'm going to be old and single and won't want to be an inconvenience to my siblings and their families so I'l...

Song: All I Have To Give/Ordinary Words Artist: Hanson I had to post this song because it specifically mentions the date "November 22nd" 😁  𝅘𝅥𝅮 "Sitting here in a hotel room, w aking up in the afternoon.  Its November 22nd so I've heard."𝅘𝅥𝅮 I listened to a whole bunch of Isaac lead Hanson songs in honor of his birthday (which was on the 17th) and that's where I found this one! I loved honoring Isaac and listening to his beautiful, gravelly, rocker, soulful, tender, cozy voice (particularly on the Christmas songs 😍🎄). This is a fan-club EP song so we'll see what I can find with a youtube search. I also learned that he wrote this for his wife (then girlfriend) when they were going through a tough time 😢 So glad they worked it out and have been happily married ever since! See Every Day , the gorgeous song Isaac wrote for his wife on their wedding day!! 💓😍💓 FULL CIRCLE MOMENT! I love that for them!! Isaac's truly the sweetest.   *Oh dear...sorry ...

Song: He Prepares A Way Artist: Angie Killian & Blake Gillette As always....I'm in need of a re-set. And Sundays always feel like a good day to do so. Heard this song performed at church today. It was beautiful. I need to get back to the basics. I need to read my scriptures and put more time and thought into my prayers. I need to exercise faith and follow the example of Jesus Christ and keep the covenants I have made with Him more fully and honestly. I need to trust in His word and promises. He led Lehi and Sariah  To the promised land He gave light to Jared’s brother With His outstretched hand He heard and answered Enos Shielded Samuel on the wall Freed Amulek and Alma When He made their prison fall He prepares a way When we follow Him I’ll walk with faith And trust His light within My star in the sky My compass, my guide He prepares a way For me He gave power and protection To Abinadi Nurtured Helaman’s two-thousand At their mothers’ side He lifted Alma’s burdens Aided Abish...

Song: I Wanna Go Back Artist: Eddie Money One week ago today, I was rocking out at my first of two back to back Hanson concerts! 💓 I have the post-Hanson-concert blues and miss them so much, hahaha 😭 Why do I have to be that fan?? 🤦 Kinda embarrassed, but it's who I am! Music is "my thing." It's my therapy. It's all I have. Last week was magical and perfect in every way. This week...my own personal Hell begins. I know that was quite a dramatic turn, I'll get to it later. I'm trying not to be depressed about it but I haven't been able to stop thinking/stressing and getting pissed over the situation. This song captures my feelings about last week ✨ PERFECTLY ✨  "I WANNA GO BACK!! AND DO IT ALL OVER ! " 🙌😭 I was listening to the radio I heard a song reminded me of long ago Back then I thought that things were never gonna change It used to be that I never had to feel the pain I know now that things will never be the same, no I wanna go ba...

Song: Hard Fought Hallelujah  Artist: Brandon Lake I'm not feeling super inspired musically at the moment. Perhaps it's due to the fact that I'm starving after a long day of work (long, but really good day 🙏), or the fact that I'm still experiencing major withdrawals from my Hanson concerts 😭 Why do they have to be so good?? Like, it would help if they were not just as good live (if better) or maybe didn't have the most perfect setlists, covers, voices and gave it their ALL every single time that your left with a permanent grin on your face, floating on a cloud in a state of utter euphoria...that might help 😉 I guess I'll settle with the fact that my favorite band is actually the very BEST so I'm just going to have to deal until the next time I get to see them live (or at least hear them perform via livestream....🎄🙏🤞). This song popped up on my youtube feed the other day (how many times have I referenced finding songs via youtube?? I guess I spen...

Song: Come Together Artist(s): The Beatles & Michael Jackson In honor of Veterans Day and as I ponder upon the freedoms I get to enjoy because of the brave sacrifices of thousands of men and women around the world who fight for those rights and freedoms and keep our beautifully imperfect country safe; I have been saddened to see the divide in my country. The hate and intolerance towards those with opposing views. The hate for our country as imperfect as it is, we are so lucky to live here and enjoy the freedoms that we have! It feels like a slap in the face to those brave military men and women, past and present to say that the United States is "awful." It's not.  This song came to mind as I am  constantly bombarded by such negative, hateful rhetoric everywhere I look!   We need to "COME TOGETHER" more than EVER! We need to be peaceful in our discussions and attitudes. We need to step back and try to see from the point of view of another. Try to understa...

Song(s): My Own Sweet Time & World Goes Around Artist: Hanson & (specifically) Zac Hanson Both of these songs spoke to me this month and demanded to be "my anthems" for November and I couldn't refuse! 😉 And of course, fittingly, they had to be HANSON! My Own Sweet Time is a new release featured on the  Underneath: Complete album . I've known about the song for years thanks to youtube leaks 😅 It has always strongly resonated with me so I was thrilled to see it would be included on this special, anniversary re-release! I'm trying to learn to accept myself for where I am and to stop comparing myself and my life's journey to everyone else, even if I need to take "my own sweet time." That's not me saying I want to keep procrastinating and living in fear, but telling myself that it's OK to take small steps and take my time. "I may make it slower, but I'm taking my own sweet time." The beginning line of this song has alway...