Music is my Therapy

Hanson surprised us all with some Back to the Island inspired FREE streams!! Remember that concert series I attended the last 3 months? Well ... I decided to forgo the January Stream (Listener's Choice) because it sounded like a bunch of songs I've already heard Hanson perform many times before. That, and I set a goal to start saving more money, especially in January. Well, I HATE myself for that decision!! 😡😭 Apparently those streams turned out being some of the very BEST ones!! Luckily for me, since Hanson are usually on a tropical island somewhere during this time of year, hosting their annual Back to the Island event , and because of COVID they had to postpone, they decided to do one more streaming concert, but this time it was Member's Only which made it FREE to ME!! You bet I wasn't about to miss out!! Last night, each guy did a solo set. And let me tell you it was a FEAST for my ears!! They outdid themselves 10,000%!!!  ZAC'S SOLO SET: Sophia - Anim...

Song: All I Know Artist: Hanson I hear my shoulders, beg for rest I can feel my beating heart pounding inside of my chest And I fear the future, so I hold it tight Turn my ear to listen, but I can't hear a word tonight So I try, and I fail to get there And I'm sure that the end is coming soon But with all I know, all I know is not enough Well I've kept my secrets But I've told few lies Anyone can see the man that hides behind these eyes Like an unknown question, and an unseen light Too many reasons hang over me tonight But I try, and I fail to get there And I'm sure that the end will find me soon But with all I know, all I know is not enough It's not enough I've had enough, I'm tired of this kind of living It's not enough, something is bound to give in soon I've had enough, I'm tired of this kind of living Cause all I know, is not enough I'm done with living, in the past Where anything I've done that's good I doubt will ever last...

HAPPY MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. DAY!! As per tradition the past two years, I have been doing some reading on this great Civil Rights leader (although not as much as I would have liked) throughout the month, but this year has felt different. With everything that happened this summer and is continuing to happen, it's eerie to see the similarities between then and now. We still have such a far way to go to make America equal and 100% racism-free. To fully fulfill Martin Luther King's dream. It feels disheartening at times. In times of frustration and doubt, we need to follow the example of Dr. King and continue to PEACEFULLY work toward unity, having faith in God and hope for a better tomorrow.  I watched the film Selma to end the day, and while I was watching I was thinking about Mrs. Coretta Scott King and the amazing woman, wife and mother she was. Women like her are truly 1 in a million! To stand by her husbands side and endure everything she did: death threats, bombings, her ...

Song(s): The Last Goodbye & My Wish Artist(s): Peter Hollens & Rascal Flatts These are my final songs of farewell & mourning. Come Monday, I'll be looking forward and not backward. She will be in my past, no longer in my future. That statement, right there, is why I had to have this week of mourning. Because that sucks. Here's to my final & last good-bye. I'll never forget you. But it's time for both of us to move on. I bid you... a very fond farewell 👋 I saw the light fade from the sky On the wind I heard a sigh As the snowflakes cover My fallen brothers I will say this last goodbye Night is now falling So ends this day The road is now calling And I must away Over hill and under tree Through lands where never light has shone By silver streams that run down to the sea Under cloud, beneath the stars Over snow on winter's morn I turn at last to paths that lead home And though where the road then takes me I cannot tell We came all this way But now c...

Song(s): Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again & How Many Words Artist(s): Emmy Rossum & Blake Lewis Two extremely different and random song choices but stay with me! Even though I know I shouldn't, I do. I do wish we were together again. I do wish I could "hear your voice again." Help me say good-bye 😥 You were once my one companion You were all that mattered You were once a friend and father Then my world was shattered Wishing you were somehow here again Wishing you were somehow near Sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed Somehow you would be here Wishing I could hear your voice again Knowing that I never would Dreaming of you won't help me to do All that you dreamed I could Passing bells and sculpted angels Cold and monumental Seem for you the wrong companions You were warm and gentle Too many years fighting back tears Why can't the past just die? Wishing you were somehow here again Knowing we must say goodbye Try to forgive, teach me to live Give me the...

Song: Help! Artist: The Beatles *This is unrelated to my "Week of Mourning" series ... although clearly I'm on a Beatles kick right now 😉 * The last two days have been   brutal!!   I feel like I'm digging myself deeper into an already  very  deep pit. I've hit a new low. Any spark of motivation I had at the beginning of the week has completely disappeared. I'm self-sabotaging. I'm so disgusted with myself! I'm so pathetic! Right now, I'm good for absolutely  nothing!  Not for myself or anybody else. 😭 I need help! Somebody, anybody, please HELP ME!! I may be on the verge of a panic attack!! I can't do this anymore!! Help! I need somebody Help! Not just anybody Help! You know I need someone Help! (When) When I was younger (When I was young) so much younger than today (I never need) I never needed anybody's help in any way (Now) But now these days are gone (These days are gone) and I'm not so self assured (And now I find) Now I find I...

Song(s):   Yesterday & Ticket To Ride Artist: The Beatles Take me back to yester-year! Take me back to when I felt like I had a purpose, when I felt loved, wanted and needed. "Yesterday... all my troubles seemed so far away... now it looks as though they're here to stay." I miss you 😓💔 I feel lost without you in my life. You gave me meaning and purpose. You made me a better person, more selfless and patient, kind and charitable. But now you don't need me anymore, you don't even want me. 😭 "I said something wrong now I long for yesterday." Yesterday all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be. There's a shadow hanging over me. Oh, yesterday  came suddenly. Why she had to go? I don't know, she wouldn't say. I said something wrong. Now I long for yesterday Yesterday  love was such an easy game to play. Now I need a place ...

Song(s):  When She Loved Me & Even Though You're Gone Artist(s): Sarah McLachlan & The Jacksons "When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful, every hour we spent together lives within my heart... when she loved me. " This is really hard. The memories are really getting to me. 😭 I miss her so much!!💔 Especially the way it was... this song is probably the most perfect/accurate one yet. When somebody loved me, everything was beautiful Every hour we spent together, lives within my heart And when she was sad, I was there to dry her tears And when she was happy, so was I, when she loved me Through the summer and the fall, we had each other, that was all Just she and I together, like it was meant to be And when she was lonely, I was there to comfort her And I knew that she loved me So the years went by, I stayed the same But she began to drift away, I was left alone Still I waited for the day When she'd say " I will always love you " Lonely and fo...

Song(s):  I Will Remember You & It Must Have Been Love Artist(s): Sarah McLachlan & Roxette Tuesday.  That was the day.  Every Tuesday for 5 years I spent in the company of "my little girl." Wow, those were some fun and memorable times! We would play games, watch shows (one of her first loves was Sesame Street , especially Elmo. He's my favorite now because of her 😊), go on walks to the park, when she used to take naps (or "quiet times") I would spend that time eating lunch, watching TV and/or working on my church lessons, I used to teach her church lessons because she couldn't go to church (due to a medical condition). When she got a little older, I started planning themed parties and activities, especially around the holidays. We read the entire Junie B. Jones book series together. I remember walking her to school and picking her up, we made banana bread, created music videos, played with her the same game over and over with her Princess toys (s...

Sorry if the title sounds morbid.... I'm not "mourning" anything or anyone in that way... if you know what I mean... 💀 but I do need to officially let someone go. And it's really, really hard. 😥 I nannied a little girl for 10 years. I started in mid-March of 2011 and my last time was August 2020. I saw her every, single week from March 2011 to August 2016 . After that, my time with her was sporadic (although my summer's with her were consistent) and I still saw her multiple times a year from August 2016-August 2020. I loved this job! I loved this little girl. I watched her grow up and change. I did so many fun (and challenging) things with her. It was a dream job. After this summer though, it was apparent to both she and I that our time together was over. It hurts. The worst part was, feeling unwanted by someone who had always wanted and loved me before. I felt like I was a nuisance to her. I felt like she didn't even like me. I'm sure at 10 years old, s...

Song: This Years Going My Way - New Year's Song Artist: Hanson HAPPY 2021 Y'ALL!!! 🎉🥳 I have some BIG news for my blog here as we kick off the new year! This post you are reading right now is my 1,000TH published post!!! 😲😜🙌 What a MILESTONE! And what a way to start 2021!! The title of this song is optimistic and the song itself has an upbeat and energetic feel to it! I'm kicking off my NEW YEAR with optimism and positive vibes, hoping that "this year's going my way!" 🤞🤞🤞 Slippin' on my dance shoes Stretching up, cold and tired Grab my keys as I leave Lookin' fly on New Year's Eve Cruisin' in my good car Watchin' all the lights turn green I don't care if I'm late 'Cause I can let them wait I kinda wonder who can say What will be left here in my way You'd better be at my side I get the feelin' this year's going my way This year's going my way Oh can you feel it in the air? Movin' your body to the...