HANSON MONTH '22 - it's real, it's raw and it's messy in here... 𝅘𝅥𝅮Feels like change is coming𝅘𝅥𝅮

How it could possibly be May already is beyond me!

I'm really missing my dog right now 😞

Earlier today I was reading an article about the benefits of walking. I got about one and a half paragraphs in before my eyes flooded with tears and I started crying. I don't go walking very often anymore. Not since my sweet boy passed last summer. I miss him so much and it still hurts so terribly living life without him! My life has totally fallen apart since he's been gone; I've gained weight, my financial situation is getting really scary, I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm at rock bottom. It's been getting harder to breathe lately. I feel like I'm drowning. I can't pull up anymore. I can't take it one more. Almost exactly a year ago to the day was the beginning of the end for my best friend. He was getting sicker and I was getting worried. When I approached my dad with my concerns all he could say was "It's time to start preparing for what's to come..." The next two and a half months were a roller coaster. Sometimes he was doing pretty good, other times he was really struggling and I was in constant contact with my vet. I was blessed to celebrate one last glorious, pain-free, sick-free week with him, his last birthday, 17 years old which happened to fall during Hanson's first two ATW streaming concerts. He was healthy and happy and seemed to be doing so well. However, a few short weeks later, he was gone. I still can't get over the shock and pain and it's been almost a year. I'm never going to get over it. My heart is forever broken and there will always be a hole. I still feel the guilt of "moving on" without him; like getting excited about things - like the two concerts I'm going to in September - feeling motivated to find a job or exercise/lose weight. To be creative i.e. cooking and baking, etc. Nothing feels the same. 

So, as my official DISCLAIMER at the start of what has always been an exciting and fun month for me, this is where I'm at. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I'm in pain. My heart is still breaking 💔 But, I'm going to try to celebrate. I'm going to celebrate in my puppy's name and memory. I'm going to try to do the things that bring me joy and make me happy, because he was always a part of those things and he still is connected to each of them. He's always with me, in my heart. 🖤🤍 Every song I listen to that makes me feel good, excited or joyful I'm going to think of him. I'm going to try to "smile through my tears." Every good moment is dedicated to him and the joy he brought to my life. I'll try to live as I know he would want me to. He wants me to be happy. I know he does. It's just hard because he was my happiness. My peace. My joy. This is for you my sweet, forever angel and best friend. I miss you with every beat of my broken heart. 💔🖤🤍 I love you forever

So, in honor of the memory and JOY of my dog...

HAPPY HANSON MONTH!

If there's been one thing that's brought me joy since my dog's passing, it's been Hanson. Their music is such a safe place for me. It's filled with nostalgia and pure bliss and happiness. I spent many hours on many walks with my dog listening to Hanson. Their music inspired and motivated me (it still does)! Over the years, when I would get my new EP in the mail or when they're second Christmas album was released, I would wait to listen to it until I was out walking with my dog on our old familiar trails. I would relish in the new music. Listening to the lyrics and harmonies and melodies. I still remember listening to their Snowed In album for the first time. It was while I was walking my dog during my favorite time of year. Their version of Merry Christmas Baby will always be one of my favorite holiday songs because of the sweet, warm, happy, nostalgic memory I have of listening to it for that very first time, on the trail, with my dog. My memories of Hanson and their music are so tightly intertwined to the memories of my puppy. They go hand-in-hand. I can't love one without adoring the other. 

I have been listening to all the Hanson albums, EP's, singles, live albums/concerts, documentaries, etc. in preparation of HANSON DAY and the release of the new album Red Green Blue. I just finished listening to the Take the Walk EP (2008). I've heard all those songs before but man! They seemed to hit different this time. They really inspired me and brought tears to my eyes. The songs are written about their experiences in Africa and their "Take the Walk" initiative. They are the Hanson song equivalents to MJ's "Man in the Mirror" and "Heal the World" A call for change. For action. For courage. Empathy. They inspire you to start. Not to wait around for someone else to lead the way. To take charge! The passion they have for their music and what they're saying is amazing. You can feel it. In every single word. They way each line is delivered. It's so incredible to me.

Hanson are the realest. They aren't preachy but they encourage people to look at themselves and ask "What can I do?" They inspire the listener to get out and serve. To love more and help more, wherever and however you can. They also inspire you to be the best you can. To believe in yourself and take the risk of following your dreams and passions. That it's OK to change. Even to fail. To begin again. They don't just "talk the talk" - they take action! They believe in what they say and they do it! They've been such an inspiration to me over the years and especially now. I'm so sad and depressed and have lost hope and the desire to keep going. Hanson's music brings a little bit of that desire back.

I really want to serve. I feel like it's a message God has been trying to give me for a while. I keep hearing about the blessings of service. I still remember the tender story my sweet grandmother shared with me back in November. About how she thought she could never be happy again after losing her husband but one day she realized she was happy. And she realized she was happy because she was serving. She found joy in helping others. I feel like I've heard several other similar stories and read about similar experiences in the past couple of weeks and months alone about this same principle. And then today, after listening to these beautiful songs I'm so pumped and inspired and feel like: I'M READY. Or at least I want to be ready. I want to make May a good month. I want to have a fresh start. No more hiding in my room, sleeping in, eating my feelings away until I'm sick. It's time to get up and greet the sun and live. I've got my two guardian angels - my dog and two of my grandmothers - rooting for me above. I'm tires of "getting by with just enough" and want to "start trying" I'm going to take Hanson's advice and follow they're lead!

Song: Follow Your Lead

Artist: Hanson, from Take the Walk EP (2008)

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

You know, I'll follow you

Through the crossroads

Pick up your shoulders

You are not a child

Don't need no natural born soldiers

It's not that kind of fight

There is no water

That can wash off this disease

If you'll just stand up

Then I'll follow your lead

So, get up and make it known

Never take a chance alone

I'll be there whatever your crossroads

I know it will take some time

I know it's gonna take its toll

All you gotta do is show me

And I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

You know, I'll follow you

Through the crossroads

So pull off your blinders

And pick up the pieces

It only gets harder

The longer you deny

You will discover

You got all that you need

Leave fear where you're standing

And I'll follow your lead

So, get up and make it known

Never take a chance alone

I'll be there whatever your crossroads

I know it will take some time

I know it's gonna take its toll

All you gotta do is show me

And I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Now, I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

I'll follow your lead

Oh, I'll follow your lead

Now, I'll follow your lead

You know, I'll follow your lead

No, no

We can build it up

Build it up

Build it up until it's strong

And we can build it up

Build it up

Build it up when you're wrong

We can build it up

Build it up

Build it up until it's strong

We can build it up

Build it up

Build it up when you're wrong

Build it up, build it up

Build it up, build it up

Build it up, build it up

Build it up, build it up

You know, I'll follow your lead, no, no

So, get up and make it known (well, I'll follow your lead, oh)

Never take a chance alone (I'll follow your lead, you know)

I'll be there whatever your crossroads (I'll follow your lead, I'll follow your lead)

I know it will take some time (oh, I'll follow your lead, oh)

I know it's gonna take its toll (I'll follow your lead, oh)

All you gotta do is show me (I'll follow your lead, I'll follow your lead)

So, get up and make it known (well, I'll follow your lead, oh)

Never take a chance alone (I'll follow your lead, you know)

I'll be there whatever your crossroads (I'll follow your lead, I'll follow your lead)

I know it will take some time (oh, I'll follow your lead, oh)

I know it's gonna take its toll (I'll follow your lead, oh)

All you gotta do is show me (I'll follow your lead, no, no)

Oh

Song: Hope It Comes Soon

Artist: Hanson, from Take the Walk EP (2008)

Well, I hope it comes now

Well, I hope it comes soon

Well, I think it's about time

I stopped waiting for you, for you

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

For you

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Well I hope it comes soon

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say, you know

There's nowhere else to pass the buck

This time

Say, we run every time it's getting rough

'Cause there is nowhere to hide

It's hard just making it by

But I'm tired of toeing the line

Feels like a change is gonna come

Feels like a change is gonna come

Yeah...

Well, I hope it comes now

Well, I hope it comes soon

Now, I think it's about time

I stopped waiting for you

Well, I hope it comes now

Well, I hope it comes soon

Well, I think it's about time

Feels like a change is coming

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Well, I hope it comes soon

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo (waiting for you)

Say, step back

And look at where we've ended up

This time

Are you satisfied

Getting by with just enough

Or are you ready to start trying?

Say, somehow we've been making it by

But I'm tired of toeing the line

Feels like a change is gonna come (feels like change is gonna come)

Feels like a change is gonna come (feels like change is gonna come)

Yeah... (doo, doo-doo)

Well, I hope it comes now

Well, I hope it comes soon

Well, I think it's about time

I stopped waiting for you, for you

Well, I hope it comes now

Well, I hope it comes soon

Well, I think it's about time

Feels like a change is coming soon

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Well, I hope it comes soon

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

I'm not waiting for you

Whatcha gonna doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

No...

No, no

Feels like a change is gonna come (feels like change is coming)

Feels like a change is gonna come (feels like change is coming)

And I hope a change is gonna come (feels like change is coming)

Whatcha gonna doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo (soon)

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

I say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Well I hope it comes soon

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

I'm not waiting for you (doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo)

Well, I hope it comes now

Well, I hope it comes soon

Well, I think it's about time

Feels like a change is coming

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Say doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

Well, I hope it comes soon

Doo, doo-doo, doo, doo-doo

I'm not waiting for you

See also: Lay Me Down (this song will make anyone with a heart cry 😭 but it's so beautiful and paints a painful picture of a horrific reality many people face, especially those in third world countries like Africa) and Where Did It Start (POWERFUL song!).

Follow Your Lead and Hope It Comes Soon are the call to action while Lay Me Down and Where Did It Start are the reasons why.