Music is my Therapy

It's been exactly one month, One month to the day. The absolute  worst  day of my life. I haven't had much time to dwell on things since I had an upsetting experience yesterday and I've been venting about it all day. I don't want to talk about it here though. I can't believe it's been a month. A month without my little puppy dog. I  still  have days and moments where I don't feel it's real. I  still  think I can hear him during the night. Or a scratch at the door. I still haven't been able to bring myself to delete his medication reminders on my phone. They're always popping up. It still doesn't feel like he's really gone. It sucks. I don't know what to do. My life feels pointless and meaningless without him. He was my world. I miss his touch. His presence. I miss his smell and his kisses. I miss everything about him.  I pray that he's happy and healthy and peaceful. I pray that he is watching over me and waiting for me. I could r...

R A I N B O W  B R I D G E  R E M E M B R A N C E  D A Y "Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day on August 28th sets aside a day to remember the pet companions we’ve lost. The death of a pet, whether furry, feathered, or an uncommon variety, is felt deeply. They become family and a familiar part of our lives. Mourning their death is different for everyone, and the observance provides a way to help heal the ache of loss. The pain of loss is real. As each person travels through their grief, we remember the companionship and comfort they provided to us. Don’t forget that part of the relationship included care provided by you. The empty space left by the loss of a beloved pet is sometimes a difficult void to overcome. Celebrate the home you provided and the joy your beloved pet brought you in return." Shortly after my dogs passing, I saw this "National Daily Holiday" on my calendar. It was bittersweet.  It's difficult for me to think or talk about my sweet boy at all withou...

Song: Bless His Soul Artist: The Jacksons I try to do what's right for me But no one sees the way I see And then I try to please them so But how far can this pleasing go Somethings soon to come over you You just can't please the world and yourself You gotta start doing what's right for you 'Cause life is being happy yourself Then you should bless his soul It's hard to find A person like you You're one of a kind If I were you, I'd change my mind And start living for me in these changing times Sometimes I cry 'cause I'm confused Is this a fact of being used There is no life for me at all 'Cause I give myself at beck and call Somethings soon to come over you You just can't please the world and yourself You gotta start doing what's right for you 'Cause life is being happy yourself Then you should bless his soul It's hard to find A person like you You're one of a kind If I were you, I'd change my mind And start living for me ...

I miss my sweet puppy dog so much!! 💔😭  Saturday marked two weeks to the day. I've been really struggling with accepting that this is real. I'm really depressed and still struggling with all the emotions of grief (guilt, regret, anger, sadness, denial, etc.). I'm not in a good place but I don't want to move on and get to a better place. I feel guilty moving on. I keep thinking about him. How just a few weeks ago he was walking around upstairs or sleeping right next to me; waking me up in the middle of the night to go outside. I haven't been able to leave my bed. I showered for the first time in days this morning. I haven't spoken to anyone in just as long. I feel like I'll just start crying at any moment or with any interaction. My life feels meaningless. I feel so sad and so lonely. I don't think this sadness will ever fully go away. My dog was my best friend. He meant the world to me. There will never be another dog like him. He was truly a once in a...

It hurts worse every day. Especially today. Exactly one month ago was my sweet baby boy's 17th birthday. It was such a wonderful day. I never dreamed a month later I'd be here. I miss my best friend.💔 The guilt is really getting to me. I wish I'd held him longer. I wish I'd said more to him in those final moments. I wish I'd stayed longer and kissed him more. I wish I could feel him again. Hear him again. See him again. Everything hurts. I can't do this. I can't go on without him. I feel lost without him. This sadness will never go away. I can't be happy without him. Why did he have to go?  Another one of my theme songs as I try to get through this.  It's been a long day without you my friend, And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again We've come a long way from where we began, Oh I'll tell you all about it when I see you again, when I see you again. Why'd you have to leave so soon, yeah, Why'd you have to go, Why'd...