Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day - I love you puppy!

RAINBOW BRIDGE REMEMBRANCE DAY

"Rainbow Bridge Remembrance Day on August 28th sets aside a day to remember the pet companions we’ve lost.

The death of a pet, whether furry, feathered, or an uncommon variety, is felt deeply. They become family and a familiar part of our lives. Mourning their death is different for everyone, and the observance provides a way to help heal the ache of loss.

The pain of loss is real. As each person travels through their grief, we remember the companionship and comfort they provided to us. Don’t forget that part of the relationship included care provided by you. The empty space left by the loss of a beloved pet is sometimes a difficult void to overcome.

Celebrate the home you provided and the joy your beloved pet brought you in return."

Shortly after my dogs passing, I saw this "National Daily Holiday" on my calendar. It was bittersweet. 

It's difficult for me to think or talk about my sweet boy at all without breaking down. I hope that stops someday because he deserves to be lovingly remembered and reminisced over. Nobody in my family mentions him or even says his name because they know it will be hard for me. I feel bad that we can't talk about him right now. But it's still too fresh. Too raw. I wanted to do something in remembrance of the greatest and best dog who ever lived. The greatest and best friend I have ever known. I thought maybe I'd go on my first walk since he's been gone. Go down one of our old trails; but, I can't bring myself to do it. I can't bring myself to even walk around the block. I immediately start tearing up thinking about going. As the summer begins to fade and the signs of fall slowly begin to emerge I mourn. Autumn walks with my dog were my favorite. Me and my boy would go all over the place, changing up the route or sticking to our usual. He didn't care. He loved it all. And so did I. The wound of my loss feels fresh again at moments like this. I just want to give up. I can't do this. He was my source of joy and strength, peace and comfort. And now he's gone.

It's been an awful month. My dog's gone and I've been struggling with some health issues. I've been left alone in my fear and anxiety about these problems even more than usual because my puppy isn't here to comfort me. To bring me peace. To distract me and take my mind off things. To walk. To hold. To play with. To care for. I miss him so much is physically hurts!!!! 

I keep picturing my dogs face. How I would hold his face in my hands and he would look right at me with all the love and trust in the world. And if I put my face anywhere near his he would attack me with the sweetest kisses. I miss that so much. I can still feel him. The way he fit in my arms or would rub up next to me for a scratch behind the ears. My hands cry out in longing to just touch him again. 

I know this day is suppose to be one of happiness and fond memories. But it's just bringing me more pain. I'm still so angry! I'm still so hurt and wounded and sad. So, so sad. I hate that there are days I am laughing with my family and eating good food and watching movies and listening to music and finding joy in any of it. I still feel like I should be crippled in my bed with tears flowing constantly. Not eating and not being around anyone at all. 

I pray every night for Heavenly Father to hug my puppy for me. To tell him I love him and miss him. To take care of him. To not let him forget me. It doesn't ease the pain or the anguish. The only thing that does is knowing he isn't suffering. That he is alive and restored to the youthfulness of a puppy. That he can see and hear again and he can walk and run and jump without pain. 

Baby boy, I love you. I have since the day we got you and I will until we meet again (and then forever after that). I wish you were still here with me. I'll try to be strong. I know you wouldn't want me to be sad and to give up. You only ever wanted to bring me joy and love and that's exactly what you did every single day. Please forgive me for doing this to you. I pray it was the right time and not too soon. You were a fighter in every way and I know you would have kept going until your body literally stopped working. I'll always remember you. Please remember me. Please always be with me. I'll always keep you close to me in my heart. You were the dog of a lifetime and you'll never be replaced! Love you forever sweet boy!!

Song: Beyond the Rainbow Bridge

Artist: Trina Belamide

🖤🤍💓💔😢

*UPDATE: I received the most beautiful and special gift from a very good friend today! The timing couldn't have been better! I got a card with the most beautiful, heartfelt message (that made me bawl) and a silver ring that has my dogs name on it. I opened it in front of my brother and dad and I'm impressed I was able to hold my tears back. In my friends letter she said it took forever for the jeweler company to get the ring made. That was a tender mercy. It made my day. I am forever grateful and will cherish this ring for the rest of my life!!