IMAGINE #blacklivesmatter #healtheworld

Song: Imagine
Artist: Pentatonix (Originally John Lennon)

I don't have words to even begin to express the sadness, anger, disgust, fear and distress that have been in my heart this past week. What is going on!? Why are we still hurting one another!? Why is there so much bigotry and hate!? When I see video footage of a man being murdered (RIP George Floyd! 😔) right before my eyes, by someone who is suppose to be a protector*, not a careless, unfeeling, unethical murderer ... when I see people looting, rioting, beating each other up, throwing bricks at cops, screaming, setting places on fire .... it makes me afraid to step outside my house. It feels like we are living in a Zombie Apocalypse!! This can't be real! This can't be happening! This past January I read a book about Martin Luther King Jr. and what I'm seeing today is so upsetting!! All of the work that great man did, the danger he and his family were in on a daily basis, it all seems for naught! I'll be honest, I know I am extremely ignorant to matters regarding race and racism. I have lived my entire life in a predominately white community; where the only POC I have ever known are people who have been adopted into white families. I grew up being horrified of racism when I would learn about it in school but I also (ignorantly and falsely) believed it to be dead; that people didn't discriminate, injure or kill other people based solely on their skin color anymore, that it was a thing of the past. Only in these past few years have I learned and understood otherwise. I need to be better. I need to read and learn more. That's why I feel like I can't speak too much on what is happening in this country right now because I don't fully understand. All I can speak to is the fear and anguish I feel. It makes me afraid of the future. It makes me not want to have children and bring them into such a messed up world.

BUT.

As much fear and distress the events of the past week have caused me, I have also felt motivated. To find some way to help. Especially to find a way to help children. I have always loved children. I have always had a desire to help them, especially those who suffer. Children have no control over their circumstances. I want to help children who do not have what I have always had: love, safety, happiness. I want to find a way to give that to them, at least to some extent. Children are our future. I hope I can really push myself to get out of my comfort zone and figure out ways I can help the children who suffer, from where I'm at. There is suffering everywhere in this world. It can be overwhelming when you think about it too much (which is something I do .... overthink). The best way to help, to make a change, is to start where you are. To educate yourself, study and use your God-given talents and abilities to do what YOU can do!

I feel extremely guilty as I type this because I know how I'm sounding. I know I'm talking pretty BIG here. I've had these desires for years now. But I've never actually done anything about them. Because I'm afraid. Because I'm allowing myself to be swallowed up in my mental illness. It makes me feel selfish and awful. If I want to FIGHT for others I should FIGHT for myself! I need to help myself before I can really be of any good to anyone else! As of now, I am feeling so motivated to do so! I don't want to spend my days living in my secure bubble of self-loathing and depression. Been there, done that (for FAR too long!). I'm SO lucky and blessed. I have parents who have definitely shielded and protected me more than they should and more than I deserve. But I'm lucky because they do so out of love for me. Not everyone has that kind of love in their life and I take it for granted on a daily basis. I want to get up, start learning and MAKE A CHANGE. For myself and for the benefit of those who need it.

I dedicate this song to the state of this broken and divided country that I love. If only, if only, the world could truly live as one. If only, if only, not every little thing divided us. If only, if only, EVERYONE could be treated the same; to be looked upon without judgment or fear, to be understood and loved with no strings attached. I am NOT a perfect person, I am far from perfect! But I know someone who is PERFECT. I know someone who truly does understand all of the injustices of the world. He is someone who suffered "pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind" who took "...upon him their infirmities, that his bowels" are "filled with mercy, according to the flesh" that he knows "according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." (Alma 7:11-12). He is the person I want to be like. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is what the world needs. He is the only solution to every problem. He is mighty to save. "He descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things" (D&C 88:6).

"... and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness; and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both Jew and Gentile." (2 Nephi 26:33)

"Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God." (D&C 18:10)

You may say I'm a dreamer. But I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us. And the world will live as one.

Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today... Aha-ah...

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion, too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Will be as one...

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world... You...

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

As one

You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one



Three Michael Jackson songs I felt were too perfectly appropriate for what is going on in the country right now (MJ always knew what was up!):

They Don't Care About Us

Man In The Mirror

Heal The World

*For the record, I strongly believe most Police Officers are good, who try to fulfill their civic duty to the public and protect those in danger, but of course there are some who are not. There are problems in the Police Academy that need adjusting and fixing. But, I do support the good Police Officers and am grateful for their service. The man who killed George Floyd was NOT a decent, law abiding, self-sacrificing Police Officer. He was the definition of a BAD COP and he deserves to be put behind bars!