HAPPY OCTOBER!!

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In recent years, October has become one of my most favorite months! The holidays are rapidly approaching and you can feel the magic in the air!

I am committing to posting a Halloween inspired song every day this month, just like I did last year. I also love the holidays because it inspires me to blog again! And I love having a theme or some kind of challenge to motivate me.

This year has been difficult, especially these past several weeks. I feel I am losing hope. I don't find joy in life. I have no motivation to do anything. I believe I've wasted my life and my time and it's too late for me to recover. I'm constantly ashamed and embarrassed about where I am. I don't want to keep going. It's exhausting. I'm not quite as happy and excited about the holidays as I usually am/wish I was right now because I feel so sad and terrible. I wish I had someone to talk too. I wish this blog had served it's purpose better .... as in, me being able to connect to people. But it's been 5 years and nothing has happened. It's just me pretending people are actually out there, reading what I'm writing. But I'm the only one reading.

ANYWAY, time to kick things off with the King of Halloween himself, MICHAEL JACKSON!! This song is an accurate representation of how I feel inside, at least the chorus is :}

Song: Scream
Artist: Michael Jackson feat. Janet Jackson



Tired of injustice
Tired of the schemes
The lies are disgusting
So what does it mean?
Damn it

Kicking me down
I got to get up
As jacked as it sounds
The whole system sucks
Damn it

Peek in the shadow
Come into the light
You tell me I'm wrong
Then you better prove you're right
You're sellin' out souls,
But I care about mine
I've got to get stronger
And I won't give up the fight

With such confusions don't it make you wanna scream?

(Make you wanna scream)

Your bash abusin' victimize within the scheme

You try to cope with every lie they scrutinize

Somebody, please have mercy
'Cause I just can't take it

Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop pressurin' me
Make me wanna scream
Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop pressurin' me
Make you just wanna scream

Tired of you tellin'
The story your way
It's causin' confusion
You think it's OK
Damn it

You keep changin' the rules
While I keep playin' the game
I can't take it much longer
I think I might go insane

With such confusion don't it make you wanna scream?

(Make you wanna scream)

Your bash abusin' victimize within the scheme

You find your pleasure scandalizin' every lie

Oh, Father, please have mercy
'Cause I just can't take it

Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop pressurin' me
Make me wanna scream
Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop ---- with me
Make me wanna scream

"Oh, my God, can't believe what I saw as I turned on the TV this evening
I was disgusted by all the injustice, all the injustice"

(All the injustice)

(A man has been brutally beaten to death by police after being wrongly identified as a robbery suspect. The man was an 18 year old black male...)

With such collusions don't it make you wanna scream?

(Make you wanna scream)

Your bash abusin' victimize within the scheme

You try to cope with every lie they scrutinize

Oh, brother, please have mercy
'Cause I just can't take it

 Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop pressurin' me
Make me wanna scream
Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop pressurin' me
Make me wanna scream

 Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop pressurin' me
Make me wanna scream
Stop pressurin' me
Just stop pressurin' me
Stop pressurin' me
Make me wanna scream

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!
2019

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