Music is my Therapy

HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY SISTER!!! How on EARTH are you 20 years OLD!?!? Is that even LEGAL??? Oi. I'm so old! This is my YOUNGER sister people!!! I am so thankful that I get to call my sister my friend. We genuinely enjoy spending time with one another. We love to laugh together, we reminisce about our favorite memories we've made, we love to eat together! We are "food" buddies! When one of us is in the mood for food (usually ice-cream) the other is always willing to "go along for the ride!" I love the bond that we share. I love that we can talk about anything. I love my sister and am so grateful to have her in my life! Birthday Dedication Song: Sweet Creature Artist: Harry Styles I'm dedicating this song to my sister today because she truly is a "sweet creature." She is loving, thoughtful, humble, kind and sweet. Also, she loves Harry Styles and this is her favorite song off his new record. We also think it's funny and like ...

Song: Stranger in Moscow Artist: Michael Jackson Alone. Sad. Angry. Anxious. Confused. Depressed. Tired. Tears. Numb. Frustrated. Done. I. Hate. Who. I. Have. Become. I hate that I can't communicate my thoughts. My feelings. My emotions. My pain. I hate that I feel trapped. Stuck. I hate that I feel like I don't belong. Here. Anywhere. "Mask of life, feelin' insane ... Sunny days seem far away ... How does it feel When you're alone and you're cold inside? ... Happy days will drown the pain ... I'm living lonely." I was wandering in the rain Mask of life, feelin' insane Swift and sudden fall from grace Sunny days seem far away Kremlin's shadow belittlin' me Stalin's tomb won't let me be On and on and on it came Wish the rain would just let me How does it feel (How does it feel) How does it feel How does it feel When you're alone And you're cold inside? Here abandoned in my fame Armageddon of th...

Song: My Dad, Daddy's Homecoming & Redeemer Artist: Primary Children's Songbook & Stephen Sharp Nelson, Grace I would like to wish my wonderful father the HAPPIEST OF FATHER'S DAY! My dad is the most amazing man alive. He has a heart of gold and would do anything for anyone, especially this family. He is the hardest working person I know. It's always one thing after another with him! From work to his church calling to yard work to teaching my brothers how to perfect their sport he is always going, going, going! My dad is an incredible example of patience, optimism and true charity. He never judges anyone and will always find the good in people and in life. I love him so much and I am so grateful for all that he has done for me! He has been my rock and someone who is always there helping me through my challenges. Even if he doesn't always understand some of the things I am going through he is 100% supportive and works tirelessly to help me find relief. He ...

I have procrastinated writing this post because honestly, I have no words. Hanson Day 2017 was hands-down one of the BEST experiences/weekends/trips of my entire LIFE!!! I had the most AMAZING. FANTASTIC, SPECTACULAR TIME!!! Things could not have gone better! I had a BLAST! Hanson Day was better than I could have ever imagined!! I'm still having major withdrawals (and it's been TWO WEEKS! ). I want to go back!!! I will cherish these memories and pictures for a life time! It was a dream! I have no words! In a nutshell, here is the gist of my trip. There is no way I can even begin to try to describe the pure bliss and sheer  JOY I felt. I am so incredibly grateful to have had experienced this adventure! That my sweet and amazing sister sacrificed so much to go with me. We both agreed this was one of our favorite road trips EVER! I will never, ever forget it!! All of my silly doubts and worries were the imaginations of an anxious girl who has never taken a risk. And now ...

Song: Congratulations (Clean) Artist: Post Malone HAPPY GRADUATION TO MY LITTLE BROTHER!!! HOLY FREAKING COW!!! I can't believe my brother is graduating HIGH SCHOOL TODAY!!! It seems like just yesterday I was graduating High School and he was graduating 6th grade, hahaha. How time flies. I love my brother so much!! He is such a stud! ;) We have always been close and good buds even though sometimes he can really get on my nerves .... and he loves to push my buttons (and knows exactly which ones they are!). But he is funny and has a good head on his shoulders. I'm proud of the kind of person he is and the choices that he is making in his life. I'm proud of all the hard work he's put into his school work and getting good grades (when I know it wasn't easy for him). I'm super proud and impressed with how awesome and hard he worked at soccer, basketball, falg football & Track & Field! He's the athletic one of the family for sure!! I'...

Song: Your Illusion Artist: Hanson I started the day feeling overwhelmed and wanting to give up. I started the day being so angry and feeling so alone and forgotten that I just wanted to disappear. I started the day wanting to stay locked away forever and never have to leave my bed because life is too hard and it's never going to get better! This was my song for the way I felt starting my day. You say you want to kill yourself It might make it just a little bit easier You think you're the only one who hurts Try looking just a little bit harder I don't know why you're holding on To the damage that's been done 'Cause you've got me wrapped up in your illusion I keep on trying to change your conclusion But you've got me wrapped up in your illusion I keep on dying 'cause you're busy wasting life Don't disguise your emptiness By placing blame on me and everyone else Protected by your safety nets But you can't put the...

Song: Siren Call Artist: Hanson This song is off of Hanson's Fan Club EP: Loud (2016). I have been slightly obsessed with this haunting song as of late. This song is about dealing with depression ( Zac Hanson even said so ! Be forewarned, explicit language is used in this video. I'm so sorry). Once I heard Zac explain the meaning and message behind this song it made so much sense to me! I have always loved it and I've always known it had a powerful message but I could never quite figure out what it was. This song is about struggling. Being weighed-down by the burdens and challenges life brings to each and every one of us. When we stop and allow ourselves to "give in" to the pain and sadness that comes with the stress of life, that's when we begin to slip and fall into a deep depression. That's when our "Siren's Call" us. And pull us down. No straighter path than to struggle .... This is perfect. And it's true. Life is a constan...