Love Month Day 6

Song(s): Chronically Cautious & People Watching 

Artist: Braden Bales & Conan Gray

It's a two song kinda day because they sound so similar it's almost like they are one and the same and I really like both. The first one is me in everything I do to try to move forward and make progress of any kind. Chronically Cautious. I love that wording! After reading through the lyrics, I realized it's not technically a love song buuuut...I think it works because you can be "chronically cautious" by being so afraid of rejection to the point of not pursuing anything romantically....because yup. That's me! The second song is also spot on for me. And I won't lie, it's the way I feel about seeing, hearing and being around my sister and her boyfriend. Last year I thought I would have the confidence to actually have a date by Valentine's Day this year....😶😳😬😅😢😭 Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhhh.....nope. 💔😔

I gamble big for the smallest part, I know it's not

Enough to change what's been going on, but it's all I got

I misjudge and switch up, from target to target

Miscalculate what it is that I wanted

Swimming in circles, in search of substance

In shallow waters, that give me nothing

How can optimists be cynical?

So, if I'm honest

I think I'm beginning to question how much I want this

Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous

Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious

How can I get off this?

To keep it simple

I think I've been willingly following every impulse

Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window

Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles

Passionate but fickle

The source of my serotonin is only digital

'Cause my reality's fading, I guess it's typical

Can't switch back, it's mismatched in dopamine

Get whiplash, it hits fast, controlling me

Swerving in silence, I'm all alone

In traffic, I'm trapped and I can't find home

I'm an optimist who's cynical

(That's really miserable)

So, if I'm honest

I think I'm beginning to question how much I want this

Overloaded serial stresser, I'm sitting nauseous

Panic on a loop in my head, I'm chronically cautious

How can I get off this?

To keep it simple

I think I've been willingly following every impulse

Picturing a future, then tossing it out the window

Suffocate the fire I started right when it kindles

Passionate but fickle

That wasn't funny but she laughed so hard she almost cried

They're counting months they've been together almost forty-nine

He's making fun of how she acted around the holidays

She wears a ring but they tell people that they're not engaged

They met in class for metaphysical philosophy

He tells his friends I like her cause she's so much smarter than me

They're having talks about their futures until 4 a.m.

And I'm happy for them (I'm happy for them)

But I wanna feel all that love and emotion

Be that attached to the person I'm holding

Someday I'll be fallin' without caution

But for now I'm only people watching

I'm only looking just to live through you vicariously

I've never really been in love, not seriously

I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence

Next one I choose to trust I hope I use some common sense

But I cut people out like tags on my clothing

I end up all alone but I still keep hoping

I wanna feel all that love and emotion

Be that attached to the person I'm holding

Someday I'll be fallin' without caution

But for now I'm only people watching

Cut people out like tags on my clothing

I end up all alone but I still keep hoping

I won't be scared to let someone know me

Life feels so monotone but I still keep hoping

Cut people out like tags on my clothing

I end up all alone but I still keep hoping

I won't be scared to let someone know me

Life feels so monotone but I still keep hoping

(I feel love emotion)

I wanna feel all that love and emotion

Be that attached to the person I'm holding

Someday I'll be fallin' without caution

But for now I'm only people watching