31 on the 31st

Song: Dear Fear

Artist: Mat & Savanna Shaw

Wow. What a way to spend New Years Eve. I've been alone for the past two days straight, locked away in my room aka my depression, guzzling down junk food and spending waaaaay too much time looking at my screen. Both of my parents are sick and all of my other siblings have lives; friends, relationships, work, mission, family, etc. This is the way I'm ringing in the new year? Alone? Sick from eating so much chocolate? Seems fitting. I guess it's better than last year where I had to fifth wheel my parents and sister and her BF. Everyone kissing all around me as I stood there solitary and alone, my eyes glued to the TV watching other people kiss and celebrate. 

I want to start the New Year right but I feel so disgusting, sad and lonely. I don't feel motivated or happy. I feel numb. I feel angry. And sad. And exhausted. If this is all my life will amount to, babysitting other peoples kids and being the leftover child, I don't want to continue into another year. 

This song is beautiful and relatable and I want to feel this way. Manifesting it. NOW.

CHEERS 2023! 🥂

THANKS FOR THE MEMORIES AND FUN TIMES! 🎉

AND GOOD-BYE FEAR! 👋

FEEL FREE TO LET THE DOOR HIT YA ON THE WAY OUT! 😆🚪👊

HOPING FOR MORE IN 2024!! 🤞💗

BE GOOD TO ME...PLEASE.