The Ballad of Sweeny Todd, The Barber & His Wife & Poor Thing

Song(s): The Ballad of Sweeny Todd, The Barber & His Wife & Poor Thing

Artist: From, Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2023 Broadway Cast)

Remember when I said I disturb myself this time of year?? Or something about it bringing the "dark side" out in me? Well, I rest my case! 

Everyone should know by now that I LOVE Josh Groban. He's one of my favorite male vocalists of all-time. I have an entire DAY dedicated to him in November (the 7th to be exact, #IYKYK). So, when I found out Josh was playing the titular role in this particularly gruesome and dark musical, I was both horrified and intrigued! Angelic Josh Groban playing Sweeny Todd, a DEMON barber!? 👿🪒 I've heard of this twisted musical before and knew the premise, I remember seeing the movie trailer when it came out as a young, innocent girl and being scarred by it! I've also heard Josh Groban cover a few songs from this play, albeit they were the sweet, pretty songs, not the dark, morbid ones. Needless to say, I had to give this soundtrack a listen! And what better time of year than October, the month of the dark, twisted and disturbing? 😈😱

I listened to the album in it's entirety a week ago today and also looked up the entire synopsis online (because I have no plans to ever watch the film OR see a live production - Josh Groban in the lead or not - so I didn't mind any spoilers). It. Is. HORRIFYING!! I was genuinely disturbed and freaked out by the time I finished the last song (and read how it ends...😱). WHO thought this was a good idea!? WHO decided this musical should win a TONY AWARD!? WHO would willingly go see a production knowing what it's about!? I am thoroughly disturbed with myself for even wanting to listen to the music...and then SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD!! But here we are! I must be MAD! 😬🙃

Prepare yourself for what you're about to hear...it will be unlike anything I've ever shared before!!

Here's the teaser...already setting the mood of this terrifying show!! 👿🪒

The Ballad of Sweeny Todd

This opener gives a brief synopsis of the tale of Sweeny Todd and what you can expect to hear if you choose to proceed...I should have stopped here!! 🙈

[A MAN]

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd

His skin was pale and his eye was odd

He shaved the faces of gentlemen

Who never thereafter were heard of again

He trod a path that few have trod

Did Sweeney Todd

The demon barber of Fleet Street

[ANOTHER MAN:]

He kept a shop in London town

Of fancy clients and good renown

And what if none of their souls were saved?

They went to their maker impeccably shaved

By Sweeney

By Sweeney Todd

The demon barber of Fleet Street

[COMPANY:]

Swing your razor wide, Sweeney!

Hold it to the skies!

Freely flows the blood of those

Who moralize!

His needs were few, his room was bare

A lavabo and a fancy chair

A mug of suds and a leather strop

An apron, a towel, a pail and a mop

For neatness he deserves a nod

Does Sweeney Todd

The demon barber of Fleet Street

[WOMEN:]

Inconspicuous Sweeney was

Quick and quiet and clean 'e was

Back of his smile, under his word

Sweeney heard music that nobody heard

Sweeney pondered and Sweeney planned

Like a perfect machine 'e planned

[MEN:]

Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle

Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle

[COMPANY:]

Inconspicuous Sweeney was

Quick and quiet and clean 'e was

Like a perfect machine 'e was

Was Sweeney!

Sweeney was smooth, Sweeney was subtle

Sweeney would blink and rats would scuttle

Sweeney! Sweeney! Sweeney!

[SWEENEY TODD:]

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd

[COMPANY:]

Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd

[SWEENEY TODD:]

He served a dark and a vengeful god

[COMPANY:]

He served a dark and a vengeful god

[SWEENEY TODD:]

What happened then—well, that's the play

And he wouldn't want us to give it away

Not Sweeney

[SWEENEY TODD & COMPANY:]

Not Sweeney Todd

The demon barber of Fleet Street

The Barber & His Wife

Setting the stage for more of this gruesome tale of revenge and lust...🤮

[TODD:]

There was a barber and his wife

And she was beautiful

A foolish barber and his wife

She was his reason and his life

And she was beautiful

And she was virtuous

And he was—

Naïve

There was another man who saw

That she was beautiful

A pious vulture of the law

Who with a gesture of his claw

Removed the barber from his plate

Then there was nothing but to wait

And she would fall

So soft

So young

So lost

And oh, so beautiful!

[ANTHONY:]

And the lady, sir—did she succumb?

[TODD:]

Oh, that was many years ago...

I doubt if anyone would know

[TODD - SPOKEN]

Now leave me, Anthony, I beg of you. There's somewhere I must go, something I must find out. Now. And alone.

[ANTHONY:]

So long, then, Mr. Todd.

[TODD:]

There's a hole in the world

Like a great black pit

And it's filled with people

Who are filled with shit

And the vermin of the world

Inhabit it...

Poor Thing

This song is suuuuper disturbing and the ending is a crucial part to the tale of Sweeny Todd! 

[TODD:]

Isn't that a room up there over the shop? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out? That should bring in something

[MRS. LOVETT:]

Up there? Oh, no one will go near it. People think it's haunted. You see, years ago, something happened up there, something not very nice.

There was a barber and his wife

And he was beautiful

A proper artist with a knife

But they transported him for life

And he was beautiful...

Barker, his name was—Benjamin Barker

[TODD:]

Transported? What was his crime?

[MRS. LOVETT:]

Foolishness...

He had this wife, you see (Oh)

Pretty little thing

Silly little nit

Had her chance for the moon on a string—

Poor thing

Poor thing

There were these two, you see

Wanted her like mad

One of 'em a Judge

T'other one his Beadle

Every day they'd nudge

And they'd wheedle

But she wouldn't budge

From her needle

Too bad

Pure thing

So they merely shipped the poor blighter off south, they did

Leaving her with nothing but grief and a year-old kid

Did she use her head even then? Oh no, God forbid!

Poor fool

Ah, but there was worse yet to come

Poor thing

Johanna, that was the baby's name... Pretty little Johanna...

[TODD:]

Go on

[MRS. LOVETT:]

My, you do like a good story, don't you?

Well, Beadle calls on her, all polite

Poor thing

Poor thing

The Judge, he tells her, is all contrite

He blames himself for her dreadful plight

She must come straight to his house tonight!

Poor thing

Poor thing

Of course when she goes there

Poor thing, poor thing

They're having this ball all in masks

There's no one she knows there

Poor dear, poor thing

She wanders tormented and drinks

Poor thing

The Judge has repented, she thinks

Poor thing

"Oh, where is Judge Turpin?" she asks

He was there, all right—

Only not so contrite!

She wasn't no match for such craft, you see

And everyone thought it so droll

They figured she had to be daft, you see

So all of them stood there and laughed, you see

Poor soul!

Poor thing!

[TODD:]

No! Would no one have mercy on her?

[MRS. LOVETT:]

So it is you, Benjamin Barker!

DUN-DUN-DUUUUUNNNN!! 😱 This is already too disturbing....I think these songs will be my most "evil" and "dark" songs yet!! I'm getting the creeps re-listening to all of this!! 

ATTEND THE TALE OF SWEENY TODD...IF YOU DARE!! 👿🪒🩸