Grateful For Music Challenge Day 10

Song: Day After Day & Past Mistakes

Artist: Goo Goo Dolls

I just deleted my original, very angry, very bitter and very depressing post. I'll spare you that drama. Tonight took an unexpected turn that has me feeling very upset. I was shaking I was so angry. I know where this sudden, all-consuming flare of anger stemmed from. It's my anxiety and shame reacting. It's childish and unfair but it's something I feel I have no control over. I just snap. I wish I could get a do-over at life. Where I'm headed does not look promising.

These two songs are today (and tomorrow and Sundays) theme songs of my current mind. Day After Day is how I feel day after pathetic day. It's always the same, sad pathetic story. I snapped a little bit ago and sent an angry text. Hopefully it backfires, in a good way, and I start taking steps to getting the help I so obviously and desperately need. Past Mistakes feels like such a sucker-punch to the gut! "No one can help you now, you ain't willing to learn, not then, not now." ... "Your past mistakes and tragedies are laying bare, disgusting me." ... "But what goes on inside, we'll never know. Your past mistakes and tragedies exposed" 😭

What if it all ends today

Who to call and what to say

And would it matter anyway?

Navigate between the lies

All confusion multiplies

So many wasted nights

And when the sun begins to rise

Are we too late to realize?

All the same, day after day

The more you scream, the less you say

The conversation's getting stranger

Someone get me out of this place

Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh-oh

All the fears came out tonight

Drew the lines in black and white

All the fiction's true, they said

It's getting hard to get out of my head

All the same, day after day

The more you scream, the less you say

The conversation's getting stranger

Someone get me out of this place

Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh-oh

Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh-oh

Get me numb, I feel too much

Someone come and pick me up

Help me, am I losing touch?

Someone get me out of this place

All the same, day after day (All the same, day after day)

The more you scream, the less you say (The more you scream, the less you say)

The conversation's getting stranger

Someone get me out of this place

Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh-oh

Someone get me out of this place

Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh, oh-oh

The more you scream, the less you say

Someone get me out of this place

No one can help you now

You ain't willing to learn, not then, not now

You're going slow, not standing still

You're ripe upon your window sill

You're growing through what you're going through

You're innocent till you know it's true

You fill your glass and tip your cup

It's just the price of growing up

Your past mistakes and tragedies are laying bare in front of me

Waiting for a spark to kill the cold

Your past mistakes and tragedies exposed

Sometimes you won't speak for days

But nothing burns like hidden rage

Not every scar is visible

Walk gently in the time you fill

Your past mistakes and tragedies are laying bare in front of me

Waiting for a spark to kill the cold

Your past mistakes and tragedies, the reason you're mistrusting me

Watching as it casually unfolds

Your past mistakes and tragedies are laying bare, disgusting me

If every day just followed a script

With all you love worked into it

Would you ever feel warm enough

Or is it just the price of growing up?

Your past mistakes and tragedies are laying bare in front of me

Waiting for a spark to kill the cold

Your past mistakes and tragedies are laying bare, disgusting me

Watching as it casually unfolds

But what goes on inside, we'll never know

Your past mistakes and tragedies exposed