Monster

Song: Monster

Artist: Madilyn Paige

Heard this song for the first time today and really enjoyed it. I also feel like I relate to the lyrics quite a bit. I've lived in the same house and the same neighborhood for almost 20 years. I've never lived away from home. I've never been on my own. I have always loved where I live. It's beautiful and safe and I have so many wonderful memories. I truly have seen my surroundings grow and change; trees that have been cut down or grown huge. New houses and neighborhoods. Familiar streets, sidewalks and trails that I have walked hundreds of time. I know the bumps and cracks on the sidewalks to watch out for. 

This song is about moving on and it's something I know I need to do but am so afraid of. There are times it makes me sad to think about leaving but other times I'm dying to. I want to get away from people who have known me for almost two decades and start over. My own personal "monsters" keep me in hiding. Because that's what I'm doing, hiding. I don't like to be seen. I don't go out on walks anymore (since my sweet puppy is no longer with me. Those were our trails and roads. We walked down them countless times together. Now that he's not here, I can't bring myself to do it.), I don't feel comfortable even sitting out on my front porch, to enjoy a beautiful day. I feel a little better in the back but I'm still surrounded by neighbors with open windows. I hate to feel watched. It's also another place full of memories of my puppy dog. That was his territory. I hate to feel judged. I'm pathetic, I know. I need help, I know. 

Although real monsters like the boogie man or Frankenstein might not actually exist, internal "monsters" do. And they're even scarier than the stories....

Sorry for such a deep, serious, downer, probably a little too TMI and revealing of a post, but it's been a Monster of a Monday! 👾 So many things went wrong and I've been pretty sad and in my head. This song is really good though!

I could stay in the place where I've been

The place that I know

Where I've memorized every tree

Every bump on the road

But those streets are feelin

Less and less like home

And it's scary but I know

I have to go

There's a monster in my closet

Whispering in the dark

Saying everything I've wanted

Is it really who you are

There's a monster in my closet

I can try to hide, keep it all inside

There's a monster in my closet

Always buried in my mind

I thought that I silenced the voices

I guess I was wrong

'Cause I've come all this way

But their shadows are riding along

But those thoughts are feeling

Less and less like home

Made peace that they're with me

Wherever I go

There's a monster in my closet

Whispering in the dark

Saying everything I've wanted

Is it really who you are

There's a monster in my closet

I can try to hide, keep it all inside

There's a monster in my closet

Always buried in my mind

Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh

Ah

Wish I could hide

It's raging inside

It comes out at night

There's no disguise

When I feel it rising

There's a monster in my closet

Whispering in the dark

Saying everything I've wanted

Is it really who you are

There's a monster in my closet

I can try to hide, keep it all inside

There's a monster in my closet

Always buried in my mind

HAPPY "MONSTEROUS" MONDAY!!" 👾