🌻 30 ✨

I woke up today as a 30 year old. 😳😨😭😵🙈😱😶

That's SO weird!! 😖 

I could spend this post shaming myself for everything I've done wrong in my life up to now. I could spend this post focusing on my failures and the things I hate about myself and my new age. I could spend this post beating myself up for the having wasted so much of my life and not being where I thought I would be at this age. I could spend this post telling myself how old and ugly and pathetic I am for being 30 years old and having no life or life accomplishments and how I'm such a disappointment and a let down to myself and everyone else. 

But I'm not going to do that.

I'm going to choose to CELEBRATE today as a fresh start. 🥳🎉🌄🌻✨

My 20's are gone. I can start fresh in this new decade. I can do and be anyone I want to be. I can transform myself. I can recreate myself. It's a clean slate. 

I'm going to try to live my life more fully in my 30's. I'm going to try to embrace every single day and live. Start making changes. Being kind and patient with myself. Loving myself and speaking positively. To enjoy this journey called life. 

It's day one of 30 🌻✨

Who am I?

Birthday Dedication Song: Climb 🌄

Artist: Hanson

Ever since I first heard this beautiful song, I thought about myself on my own life journey thus far. For so long I have been stuck on an uphill ascent. It's a bit of an oxymoron; I'm not moving, but I'm exhausted. I'm stuck halfway up a HUGE cliff. I wish I could turn around and go back down. To start over at the beginning. I liked life a little more back then. I don't like what I see ahead, which doesn't seem to be much. It looks rocky, dark, covered in fog and steep. Is there an end? A peak? A light to penetrate the darkness? Will the clouds clear the way and help me find an easier path? Or at least a more doable path?  I sadly can't go back, there is only one way and that is up. Forward. Into the darkness. I'm scared. I've always been scared of the dark. But it's in these tedious moments, these steep hills and rocky, uneven grounds that we discover the most growth and pride. 𝆕The glory's in the climbing𝆕 Each step forward gets me a little closer to the top. I may stumble and fall a lot. I may slide back several steps and have to start over... 𝆕Scratching and scraping just to face your fear of heights𝆕...but that's OK. What's important is if I will get back up, dust myself off and try again. Take another step. Keep climbing.

Today, I'm ready to resume my climb again. I've been frozen with fear and exhaustion for far too long. It's time I start moving again! Because, as hard as this journey has been, the view at the top is going to be so spectacular and so worth it! I just know it!! Everyone I love will be there! And when I look back and see everything I had to endure to reach that happy place it will all be so worth every step and stumble and slip and slide along the way!! ✨

*This is where I would insert a video of the song...sadly I can't share it since I can't find anything on youtube 😔 Feel free to join Hnet so you can discover this song for yourself!*😏 So for now, enjoy these beautiful, inspirational lyrics that I hope will define this next year of my life (and forever!).

I’ve been chasing down the future

And I’ve lived feels like more than once or twice

And I’ve been just trying to find the answers

Now I know that youth is lost to make us wise

The glory's in the climbing

The story's in your cold and steely eyes

It’s all about the climbing

Scratching and scraping just to face your fear of heights

Be careful not to climb too fast  

I’ve seen, far too much to forget

And you’ve been right there through it all

To the outside your small, but you’ve been racing to get tall, 

And I know one day you’ll reach, the peaks I never saw

But the glory's in the climbing

And the story's in your cold and steely eyes

It’s all about the climbing

Scratching and scraping just to face your fear of heights

I’ve been holding my roses

Hoping they won’t wilt away

But the garden keeps growing 

Meant to bloom another day

From the high seat, they are all breathtaking valleys

And I long for, the finer days down there

But I know the heights have taught me one thing

Every peak that you reach, it’s the climb that brings you there

The glory's in the climbing

The story's in your cold and steely eyes

It’s all about the climbing

Scratching and scraping just to face your fear of heights

Be careful not to climb too fast 

"I’ve been holding my roses. Hoping they won’t wilt away. But the garden keeps growing . Meant to bloom another day." This verse has always stuck out to me and felt very personal.

"I've been holding my roses, hoping they won't wilt away." 🌹 Holding on to the past; wishing and longing for it to come back, to stay the same so I can avoid the fear and pain of change. Something I struggle with immensely! 

"But the garden keeps growing. Meant to bloom another day." Each new day is another opportunity to create new memories and have new experiences that can be just as good and beautiful as what has come before. Everything will grow together in my "garden of memories." But I have have to let go. Let go of the past, the bad and yes, even the good. I'll always have those memories to look back on and cherish, but I can also allow myself to create and "grow" more. 🥀🌻

This is my hope and prayer for myself in this new year (and decade!) of my life!🤞🙏 To live courageously every single day and take one step forward with the dawning of each new day. To keep climbing and picking myself back up when I fall, no matter how long it takes. To no longer stay stuck in my fear and pain. To embrace it, feel it, honor it and then...let it go. 

HAPPY 30TH YEAR OF LIFE!!🎂🥳🎉

HERE'S TO COURAGEOUSLY  CONTINUING ON MY CLIMB!🌄

THE GLORY'S IN THE CLIMBING!✨

HERE'S TO FACING MY FEARS!

TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME!

APPRECIATING THE BEAUTY AROUND ME AND CELEBRATING HOW FAR I'VE COME!!🥀🌻

LET'S MAKE THIS YEAR REALLY COUNT!!

TO THE BEST YEAR YET!!🌻✨👊