I'll miss you for the rest of my life! 🖤🤍💔

This Memorial Day has been hard.

I've been spending the day listening to my playlist and thinking about my dog. 💔 I miss him so much. I keep thinking about how, a year ago, he was here. We were still going out on our walks together. I miss everything about him; from his smell, to his "sounds", his touch, his company, his love. I've also been tending my neighbors dog which seems to have made all of this even more difficult. The smell of her dog food reminds me of my dog. I'm taking her on walks down all the same trails and paths and routes me and my dog went down for years. Passing by all of the places he would stop to explore and mark his territory. I find myself in a horrible mood each time I come home after checking in. It just makes me sad my dog's not here. I'm also freaking out because it's almost been a year since my dog was ... well, you know. How? How has it been that long? It feels like just yesterday....

The weather has been stormy the last couple of days and today was no different. I was able to find a quiet moment, alone at home, to sit and watch as the rain fell, listening to my music and remembering. I looked out at the backyard and could picture my sweet boy roaming around. I looked over to where his food & water bowls had sat for so many years. Now, it's empty. It still looks wrong, like something's missing. 

One song I listened to was Missing, Needing, Wanting You from Hanson's 2021 Member EP Crossroads. The words fit my mood and my heart perfectly. 💔

Staring out the window on this city

God I wish that you were here

'Cause being without you, nothings clear

Outside storm clouds are looming, and they're looming in my heart

Not sure I can take the distance or the time we've been apart.

I'm missing you, in ways words could never say

Yes I'm needing you, why do you do this to me

I've been wanting you

Feel the cold wind blowing

And it chills me to the bone

And the sounds of the city, make me long for home

And I'm missing you, ways words could never say

Yes I'm needing you, why do you do this to me

I've been wanting you, you

I'm missing you

The touch of your hands, and the smell of your skin

And the sounds of you breathing, out and breathing in

Wanting your body, lying close to mine

Needing you only, for all time

And I'm missing you, in ways words could never say

Yes I'm needing you, why do you do this to me

I've been wanting you, you

I'm missing you

One song that played from my playlist was Send Me A Song. At this point, my tears had run dry and I was sitting there numb. I couldn't help but imagine that these were some of the things my boy would say to me now: 𝅘𝅥𝅮"Don't forget when you're missing me so, love must never hold, never hold tight but let go .... Oh the nights will be long, when I'm not in your arms, but I'll be in your song. That you sing to me, across the sea, somehow, someday. You will be far away, so far from me and maybe one day, I will follow you, and all you do, til then, send me a song .... Let the call of the bird on the wind, calm your sadness and loneliness and then start to sing to me. I will sing to you, if you promise to send me a song.

I walk by the shore and I hear. Hear your song come so faint and so clear, and I catch it, a breath on the wind, and I smile and I sing you a song, I will send you a song. I will sing you a song, I will sing to you...If you promise to send me a song."𝅘𝅥𝅮

I got choked up just now writing those lyrics out! After I listened to that beautiful song and thought about my dog and how I know he would want me to be happy and that he's always going to be with me, especially in the good and beautiful things in the world: like a perfect blue sky, a rainbow, the sunshine and any music that brings me joy; I decided to listen to a new song that has just been released. One that I dedicate to my sweet, sweet, precious, forever angel and best friend. It's called Sound Like Joy. It's by Taylor Hanson. When I listen to it, I think of my puppy. I think of all the happiness and joy be brought to my life and what he still sends to me now. This song is for you puppy dog. 

We're never gonna lose the sound

We're never gonna forget the beat

Cuz I'm addicted to the melody

I've got rhythm in my feet

But when I've lost the plot

And I've forgotten every part

I know you'll be right here waiting

If I go right back to the start

We should be dancing in the street

Find a melody we can repeat

There would be a song from every girl and boy

It'll sound like joy

There will be dancing in the street

Find a melody you can repeat

There will be a song from every girl and boy

And it'll sound like joy

It'll sound like joy

It'll sound like

It'll sound like

It'll sound like

It'll sound like joy

Never gonna turn around

Cuz you never turned your back on me

I'm delivered by the melody

I've been singing in my sleep

But when I feel distraught

And I've forgotten every part

I know you'll be right here waiting

If I go right back to the start

There should be dancing in the street

Find a melody you can repeat

There will be a song from every girl and boy

And it'll sound like joy

There will be dancing in the street

Find a melody you can repeat

There will be a song for every girl and boy

And it'll sound like joy

It'll sound like joy

It'll sound like

It'll sound like

It'll sound like

It'll sound like joy

All the streets will sound like joy

Down to my feet will sound like joy

Hate can't compete with sounds of joy

Voices repeat and sound like joy

All the streets will sound like joy

Down to my feet will sound like joy

Hate can't compete with sounds of joy

Down to the voices sing like joy

Sound like joy

Sound like joy

It'll sound like joy

You go Taylor!! 🖤🔥

Thank you Taylor, for bringing so much joy to my life 🖤

In Memory of my Sweet Puppy Dog who was so much more than "just a dog" to me. He was my best friend and light of my life. My everything. My reason for living. Going on without him is hard but I think of him every time I hear something that "sounds like joy." He was, is and forever will be MY JOY! 🖤🤍🌻