Month of Love Songs Challenge Day 16

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Song: Goodbye to Love
Artist: The Carpenters

Today.....hurts. I feel so sad, humiliated, beat up and worn out. My stomach is in knots. I wish to be non-existent. I'm a problem. I'm THE problem. And apparently everyone knows it but no one wants to say it to my face (except for one family member I feel I'm having a falling out with which is sickeningly and frighteningly sad....I've never honestly felt that could or would ever happen to me and my family....considering they have always been my best friends and only support). Why am I the one feeling so guilty? I know I'm not perfect and said things I shouldn't have/regret, but this other person, who literally ripped my heart out, ran over it with a semi-truck and then spit on it, was definitely in the wrong too. I feel so attacked and bullied and worthless. I feel hated. 

 So, anyway. Today has been painful and I am in tears wishing that things could just end. I don't have hope in the future. I don't have joy in my life. I don't see myself ever getting better or being better. I feel pathetic and unlovable.

This song, these lyrics, are the way I feel about my future when it comes to love and romance. I don't have that kind of future. I'll never have that kind of future.


 I'll say goodbye to love
No one ever cared if I should live or die
Time and time again the chance for love
Has passed me by
And all I know of love
Is how to live without it
I just can't seem to find it.

So I've made my mind up I must live
My life alone
And though it's not the easy way
I guess I've always known
I'd say goodbye to love.

There are no tomorrows for this heart of mine
Surely time will lose these bitter memories
And I'll find that there is someone to believe in
And to live for something I could live for.

All the years of useless search
Have finally reached an end
Loneliness and empty days will be my
Only friend
From this day love is forgotten
I'll go on as best I can.

What lies in the future
Is a mystery to us all
No one can predict the wheel of fortune
As it falls
There may come a time when I will see that
I've been wrong
But for now this is my song.

 And it's goodbye to love

 I'll say goodbye to love.


HAPPY LOVE MONTH!!
2020!

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