God Only Knows
Song: God Only Knows
Artist: For King & Country feat. Dolly Parton
Heeeeeeey......
It's been quite some time, huh?
Wednesday May 30, 2019 was one of the worst days of my life. I thought I was losing my best friend, my sweet little puppy dog. He seemed to be slowly slipping away right before my eyes. The beginning of that week had been business as usual and everything had seemed fine. We went on our regular walk and he ate his food without any problems. Two days later he could barely stand up, refused food or water and could hardly move. My family gathered together to say our good-byes. To hold and kiss and pet him for the last time. We truly believed this was the end. I am getting choked up just going back to that day as I type this!
Without going into details, and to make a very long, dramatic, heart-wrenching, painful story short: through the grace and mercy of God my puppy's life was saved!! My prayers were answered in every way. I had to exercise faith like I never had before. The entire month of June I was consumed with sadness, fear, anger, anxiety and depression like I had never experienced before. But through all of those terrifying moments, through the anger, pain and tears I experienced the most tender feelings of sweet relief, peace and faith. I literally saw my prayers answered. It was a roller-coaster month. But in the end, God answered my prayer and never left my side. God heard me. God cared enough to bless me in this small way. God does answer our prayers. He is there. He loves us enough to bless us with the righteous desires of our hearts. To some, this may have seemed like a small and even over-the-top-dramatic situation to have been as worked up as I was. Dogs can't live forever. That's a fact. They don't get to live as long as humans, they die, it happens to millions of dog owners all over the world. But, God knew what I needed and how much my dog means to me. He knew I wasn't ready to lose him. My puppy's life and mission has not been completed quite yet. I have an undeniable testimony of the reality and goodness of God and prayer. I can't deny what God has done for me. It wasn't a coincidence. I depended on God and He was there.
By July, my dog was actually better than he had been in months! It's like he is a new dog! Everyone has been shocked to see the drastic change that took place. He turned 15 years old on July 2nd! I couldn't help but think "A month ago, we didn't believe he would be here today!" I am so grateful every day for my dog!! And to see him so healthy, playful, energetic, peaceful and happy! Yes, he is old and there are plenty of signs that indicate he is slowing down and it's sad to see sometimes. But, he is still young at heart and kicking! He is doing so well today and that is the greatest gift I could ever receive!
The rest of my summer just kind of flew by and I neglected to blog! But, I'm back now!! And although I am so happy for the amazing and miraculous recovery of my sweet, furry friend, I am still struggling. I hate to admit it. I can't seem to find the energy, courage, strength or even desire to change. I have given up on myself. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed all of the time. I just want to hide from everyone. I feel like it's too late for me to make any changes. I get so depressed all of the time. I get so depressed I can barely move sometimes. And then I just feel anxious. Every second of every day. My body aches from it. I feel tense and feel like I can't breathe.
I just recently came across this song on youtube. It spoke to me so personally that I was literally just lying on my bedroom floor sobbing as I listened to it. My heart was crying out in pain. I don't feel like anyone will ever understand me or love me or even just like me because of who I am. I can't love myself, I resent and hate myself so much every single day. Although I still feel so scared and sad and anxious, this song brings me peace and comfort. And it reminds me that I have no right to judge anyone. I think to myself all of the the time how no one understands me and how I feel judged because of that. I have to ask myself how many times I have judged those around me based on what I see and perceive? I don't really know them. I don't know what they are going through. What if they are like me? Lying on the floor, crying their eyes out feeling hopelessly alone and afraid and helpless? There truly is only ONE who understands and knows us. And He is the ONLY one who can help us. We just have to ask.
I'm sorry this post is all over the place and messy and probably very confusing. I'm bad with words. I'm bad at expressing my thoughts, feelings and emotions. That's why this blog is focused on music. Music speaks for me.
Wide awake while the world is sound asleepin'
Too afraid of what might show up while you're dreamin'
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody would believe you
Every day you try to pick up all the pieces
All the memories, they somehow never leave you
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody would believe you
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
But God only knows the real you
Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
You keep a cover over every single secret
So afraid if someone saw them they would leave
But somebody, somebody, somebody sees you
Somebody, somebody will never leave you
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
But God only knows the real you
Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over?
Oh, For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over?
There's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
But God only knows the real you
Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
God only knows where to find you
God only knows how to break through
God only knows the real you
There's a kind of love that God only knows
Artist: For King & Country feat. Dolly Parton
Heeeeeeey......
It's been quite some time, huh?
Wednesday May 30, 2019 was one of the worst days of my life. I thought I was losing my best friend, my sweet little puppy dog. He seemed to be slowly slipping away right before my eyes. The beginning of that week had been business as usual and everything had seemed fine. We went on our regular walk and he ate his food without any problems. Two days later he could barely stand up, refused food or water and could hardly move. My family gathered together to say our good-byes. To hold and kiss and pet him for the last time. We truly believed this was the end. I am getting choked up just going back to that day as I type this!
Without going into details, and to make a very long, dramatic, heart-wrenching, painful story short: through the grace and mercy of God my puppy's life was saved!! My prayers were answered in every way. I had to exercise faith like I never had before. The entire month of June I was consumed with sadness, fear, anger, anxiety and depression like I had never experienced before. But through all of those terrifying moments, through the anger, pain and tears I experienced the most tender feelings of sweet relief, peace and faith. I literally saw my prayers answered. It was a roller-coaster month. But in the end, God answered my prayer and never left my side. God heard me. God cared enough to bless me in this small way. God does answer our prayers. He is there. He loves us enough to bless us with the righteous desires of our hearts. To some, this may have seemed like a small and even over-the-top-dramatic situation to have been as worked up as I was. Dogs can't live forever. That's a fact. They don't get to live as long as humans, they die, it happens to millions of dog owners all over the world. But, God knew what I needed and how much my dog means to me. He knew I wasn't ready to lose him. My puppy's life and mission has not been completed quite yet. I have an undeniable testimony of the reality and goodness of God and prayer. I can't deny what God has done for me. It wasn't a coincidence. I depended on God and He was there.
By July, my dog was actually better than he had been in months! It's like he is a new dog! Everyone has been shocked to see the drastic change that took place. He turned 15 years old on July 2nd! I couldn't help but think "A month ago, we didn't believe he would be here today!" I am so grateful every day for my dog!! And to see him so healthy, playful, energetic, peaceful and happy! Yes, he is old and there are plenty of signs that indicate he is slowing down and it's sad to see sometimes. But, he is still young at heart and kicking! He is doing so well today and that is the greatest gift I could ever receive!
The rest of my summer just kind of flew by and I neglected to blog! But, I'm back now!! And although I am so happy for the amazing and miraculous recovery of my sweet, furry friend, I am still struggling. I hate to admit it. I can't seem to find the energy, courage, strength or even desire to change. I have given up on myself. I feel so ashamed and embarrassed all of the time. I just want to hide from everyone. I feel like it's too late for me to make any changes. I get so depressed all of the time. I get so depressed I can barely move sometimes. And then I just feel anxious. Every second of every day. My body aches from it. I feel tense and feel like I can't breathe.
I just recently came across this song on youtube. It spoke to me so personally that I was literally just lying on my bedroom floor sobbing as I listened to it. My heart was crying out in pain. I don't feel like anyone will ever understand me or love me or even just like me because of who I am. I can't love myself, I resent and hate myself so much every single day. Although I still feel so scared and sad and anxious, this song brings me peace and comfort. And it reminds me that I have no right to judge anyone. I think to myself all of the the time how no one understands me and how I feel judged because of that. I have to ask myself how many times I have judged those around me based on what I see and perceive? I don't really know them. I don't know what they are going through. What if they are like me? Lying on the floor, crying their eyes out feeling hopelessly alone and afraid and helpless? There truly is only ONE who understands and knows us. And He is the ONLY one who can help us. We just have to ask.
I'm sorry this post is all over the place and messy and probably very confusing. I'm bad with words. I'm bad at expressing my thoughts, feelings and emotions. That's why this blog is focused on music. Music speaks for me.
Wide awake while the world is sound asleepin'
Too afraid of what might show up while you're dreamin'
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody would believe you
Every day you try to pick up all the pieces
All the memories, they somehow never leave you
Nobody, nobody, nobody sees you
Nobody, nobody would believe you
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
But God only knows the real you
Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
You keep a cover over every single secret
So afraid if someone saw them they would leave
But somebody, somebody, somebody sees you
Somebody, somebody will never leave you
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
But God only knows the real you
Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over?
Oh, For the lonely, for the ashamed
The misunderstood, and the ones to blame
What if we could start over
We could start over
We could start over?
There's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
God only knows how it's killing you
But there's a kind of love that God only knows
God only knows what you've been through
God only knows what they say about you
But God only knows the real you
Cause there's a kind of love that God only knows
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
There's a kind of love that
There's a kind of love
God only knows where to find you
God only knows how to break through
God only knows the real you
There's a kind of love that God only knows
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