Music is my Therapy

Song: Fast Car Artist: Tracy Chapman   Even though the lyrics are a little sad, I really love this song right now. Also, my life is a little sad right now so it's fitting. I first heard this song a few weeks ago in the car. I liked it. Then I heard it two days ago in the car with my sister and we both really liked it. I was shocked when I found out it was a woman singing! I thought it was a middle-aged white man. Then I find out it's an African-American WOMAN!   But really, this song has been stuck in my head. I'm really struggling again. With life. With my depression. With my anxiety. I'm feeling those old familiar feelings of worthlessness, nothingness, sadness, regret, shame, jealousy, numbness and most of all fear. I truly wish I had "ticket to anywhere." Anywhere but here. I wish I could find someone to run away with. I need a fresh start. I need to start life again. I feel so stuck and so useless. My life feels so wa...

Hanson Day 2016  was  INCREDIBLE!!!       I really didn't think it could beat  last years Hanson Day  but I think it did :) How is it that Hanson only gets  BETTER!?  This is hands down  the  best band. Period. Hanson is unique and special and inspiring and insanely talented and so wonderful to us fans. I love, love,  LOVE  being a  FANSON!   In preparation for  Hanson Day 2016  I made " I Heart Hanson cookies " again (this year with a homemade buttercream frosting in 4 different colors!) with my  I Heart Hanson  cookie cutters and I must say they turned out  SO MUCH  better than last years! And they tasted  MMMM-AZING!!     I had a little extra dough....so I had to make some special dedicatory cookies for each guy!         That's a lot of cookie Hanson love!!   Isaac, Taylor, Zac :)   My favorite cookies     ...

HAPPY, HAPPY HANSON DAY!!! I can't believe Hanson has been around for  19 YEARS!! And they just keep getting better!! I am so grateful I found Hanson. My life would be missing so much joy, laughter, music, inspiration and fun!! Hanson is truly a treasure and a blessing in my life!   Get ready for a plethora of pictures!* I just love these talented brothers!!!       Album #1 - Middle of Nowhere (1997)   Album #2 - This Time Around (2000)   Album #3 - Underneath (2004)   Album #4 - The Walk (2007)   Album #5 - Shout It Out (2010)   Album #6 - Anthem (2013)   Making of 2014 Members EP - Music Made for Humans     Making of 2015 Members EP - Inside the Box      Making of 2016 Members EP - Loud!   "I feel like this is something they'd sa...

Song: What Are Words Artist: ThePianoGuys feat. Peter and Evynne Hollens   BEAUTIFUL SONG!! And the story behind it is sooooo heartbreakingly sad and sweet all at once! I love this version, it give me chills! It's a beautiful song about true, forever and everlasting love. I could see this song being played at a wedding :) Maybe my own? It's that kind of romantic/beautiful! I love, love, love it!      Anywhere you are, I am near Anywhere you go, I'll be there Anytime you whisper my name, you'll see How every single promise I'll keep 'Cause what kind of woman would I be If I was to leave when you need me most What are words If you really don't mean them When you say them What are words If they're only for good times Then that's all When it's love Yeah, you say them out loud Those words, they never go away They live on, even when we're gone And I know an angel was sent just for me An...

Song: Same Mistake Artist: James Blunt   "I'm not calling for a second chance, I'm screaming at the top of my voice! Give me reason, but don't give me choice. 'Cause I'll just make the same mistake again ."   No matter what I do I can't stop making the same mistakes! I can't re-train, re-focus my brain to STOP! It's a vicious, constant, daily battle. I wish I could just simply let everything go and LIVE! Relax. Breathe. And not be swept up in my fears that lead me to act out irrationally and behave in the ways that I despise and then find myself back at the beginning. I'm sick of living like this! I'm sick of always starting over again. Of always making  the same mistakes.   Every day.   This song is giving me a voice. A voice to my frustration and confusion.     Saw the world turning in my sheets and once again I cannot sleep. Walk out the door and up the street; look at the stars beneath my feet. Re...

Song: Look Through My Eyes Artist: Phil Collins, Disney's Brother Bear   I love this song! Some of the best music is Disney music :) I feel like this could be an anthem for me in my life right now because there is a lot of reference to finding yourself. Finding your own path. Figuring out who you are. Having faith. But there's always someone who will help you along the way. Whether that is family, friends, a child, a teacher/mentor, etc. And to look or see through someone elses eyes (especially seeing  yourself through anothers eyes) can bring you clarity. Confidence. Peace. Understanding. Wisdom.   There are things in life you learn And oh in time you'll see It's out there somewhere It's all waiting If you keep believing   So don't run Don't hide It will be alright You'll see Trust me I'll be there watching over you   Just take a look through my eyes There's a better place somewhere out there...

To make up for my lack of posting last month, I want to try to post every day in May!   HAPPY MAY DAY!   Song: Where Can I Turn For Peace Artist: Hymns   Since it's the Sabbath , I thought I should share one of my most favorite hymns. Especially as of late. I will sing this hymn to myself whenever I am feeling extremely overwhelmed or stressed out (which is practically every day of my life). The words are so beautiful, they make me cry. I truly do feel peace when I sing the words of this song to myself. It reminds me that I am loved. And watched over. And cared for. Even when I sometimes don't feel like I am. My favorite part of the song is the third verse, tears every time!   "In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend"       Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace When other sources cease to make me whole? When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice, I draw myself apart, Searching my soul?   Where, when...