Music is my Therapy

It's been a while... But I had to come back and do a "live listening party reaction" post for NF's *NEW* EP FEAR!!  It just dropped today and I just finished listening to the HOPE album so I'm extremely interested to see where this is going...I spent the last two weeks binge listening to all of Nate's past albums/EP's so I feel like I'm ready to pick up on all the easter eggs and connections that may be present. FEAR: YES! THIS IS WHAT I WANTED!! I probably shouldn't, but I do. First off, this is soooo different and I'm OBSESSED. The singing, the whole vibe. YES.   I haven't been doing well mentally (what's new right?) and it's been affecting me more than ever. I keep telling myself I need to say something, but I won't. Stupid pride. There's also just a lot going on in my family's life right now, I don't want to be another burden to add to the weight of what my parents specifically have been carrying with all year. ...

Song: Christmas Day Artist: Mat & Savanna Shaw MERRY CHRISTMAS ! !   🎄🎅🎁🍬🍪🌟🙏 What a fun day!! I loved getting to spend time with my family. It was traditional, new and different all at the same time, but it was still a beautiful, wonderful holiday. Despite not getting ANY snow 😭 I love my family so much it makes me want to cry! I'm so blessed. Even if now, here at the end of the night I'm feeling depressed and sad for the holiday to end. I'm feeling sad for my single aunt who hosted the past two days and then we all left her alone. It makes me feel bad for her 💔 I already feel sad for myself (always, of course) that all of my siblings got to go home with their significant others, but at least I have my parents and dog. My poor, sweet, over the top, but very loving aunt just had to watch everyone leave and was left alone with somewhat of a mess. We'll be back over there tomorrow to help her clean up but still. She put so much work and effort to make it sp...

Songs: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas & Tonight is Christmas Eve Artists: Fred Waring & His Pennsylvanians & Girl Named Tom MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE ! ! 🎄🎅🎁 How did we get here?? This month flew by at a rapid pace, faster than Dasher and Prancer and all Santa's reindeer on Christmas Eve night! 😉 I'm excited for tonight! To sing Christmas carols, watch Home Alone and feast, feast, feast, FEAST!! 😋 I'm grateful for my family. 💕 I'm missing many family members this year, as I always will from here on out, but I'm grateful for the one's I do get to be with and for the health and safety of the ones who are apart. And for my angels in heaven who are happy, healthy and waiting for me.  I wish the forecast was showing snow, I've been rather bitter about that, haha. It's been  years since the last true white Christmas I've experienced and I was just really hoping for one this year. But I shouldn't complain. I'm blessed and gra...

Song: Spending Christmas Together Artist: Mat & Savanna Shaw Had a great night celebrating the Christmas season with my family! The night was fun; we ate good food, listened to festive music, played fun games and decorated gingerbread houses. But now, here alone at the end of the night...I feel sad. I miss how Christmas used to be. When siblings teamed up for gingerbread house competitions...not spouses, partners and me and my dad. I miss getting ready for bed with my sisters, chatting and giggling into the early hours of the morning. I miss hearing my brothers sneak out of their rooms to play video games late into the night. I miss how things used to be. Everything is different now. It's hard to see it change. I can't see change as a good thing and I know I need to, I should. I'm grateful I still can celebrate Christmas with most of my family still but...it's just not the same. I miss the Christmases of my past, spent with ALL of my family. Together. Just us. It ...

Song:  The Holly and the Ivy Artist: King College Cambridge  MERRY WEEK OF CHRISTMAS ! ! 🎄🎅🌟 Wow. Christmas will be here so soon! I'm out of time...I have only so many days to wear so many Christmas sweaters, finish watching all the Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music, etc. It's a little stressful but I've also been happy with what I've done so far, so I'm going to calm down. And allow these next three days to just be. Live in the moment. Don't stress and rush so much. My shopping is done. Neighbor and friend gifts have been given. It's time to just... be. Let myself relax a little and take in the season. Today was the Christmas service at church. It was nice although I didn't love the remarks of the last speaker, it felt a little condemning and then they just threw in Jesus; I don't know, it was weird. Not exactly the "Christmasy" message I was hoping for. But that doesn't matter. The music was beautiful and I got chok...

Songs: Christmas Wishes, Later Never Came, I'll Begin Again Artist: From, Scrooge: A Christmas Carol Today is "Bah! Humbug!" day on my calendar...something I recalled last night as I was watching A Muppets Christmas Carol. So today, I decided to watch another version of A Christmas Carol on Netflix. As much as I love this classic story of Christmas, hope and change, it also makes me incredibly sad. It's probably because I see so much of myself it Ebenezer Scrooge. Besides the hating Christmas bit, I see myself becoming the lonely, selfish, miserable old miser he was. I've felt that way for years now, as I stay stuck in my selfishness, stubbornness, fear, pride and regret.  I don't know what it was about this particular version of A Christmas Carol, a film I've seen several adaptations of before and have read the book multiple times, I believe it was the music, but I couldn't stop crying! It's kind of embarrassing but after the scene where Scrooge ...