Unwell

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Song: Unwell
Artist: Matchbox 20
 
I've been focusing on my issues .... again. Life seems so hard and so unfair sometimes. A lot of the times for me. I need to change my attitude. Sometimes I really do believe I'm crazy. I believe I'm so far gone that I will never be able to stand on my own two feet and live a normal, happy, successful life. I was thinking about friendship the other day. I started panicking just thinking about being in a social situation. What would I say? I would probably sound all awkward and stupid. I'm not smart and I don't lead an interesting or exciting life. People will think I'm weird. The idea of going out on date make me want to hyperventilate and that breaks my heart. I really want a romantic relationship. I look around and see people 5-6 years younger than me holding hands and kissing and being happy in intimate relationships. I've never been there before. I fear people thinking I'm weird and won't ever want to take a chance with me. I don't know how to be open and vulnerable and share my thoughts and feelings. I don't know how to be normal.
 
"I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell ...." Well, maybe a lot unwell. I had never realized before how this song is referring to mental health.
 
 
All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something
Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

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