Music is my Therapy

Song: Sound of Silence Artist: Simon & Garfunkel covered by Peter Hollens & Tim Foust Silence. That's all I get. I swear. Every time I pray asking for help, answers, direction, saving. Are prayers answered? How do you become good enough or "worthy" enough to get your most heart-felt prayers answered? How do you get those "Ensign worthy" or "Conference worthy" answers and miracles? What do I have to do? What do I have to do so that every time I pray, I'm not answered with complete and utter silence?  " But my words, like silent raindrops fell, an d echoed in the wells of silence." Hello darkness, my old friend I've come to talk with you again Because a vision softly creeping Left its seeds while I was sleeping And the vision that was planted in my brain Still remains Within the sound of silence In restless dreams I walked alone Narrow streets of cobblestone 'Neath the halo of a street lamp I turned my ...

Song: Sunsets for Somebody Else Artist: Jack Johnson I've really been liking the new Jack Johnson album . This song in particular is one I have been listening to a lot because I feel like the lyrics are very fitting. This past weekend was a very sobering and dark time for me. I had a mini mental breakdown and panic attack and just curled up in a ball and tried to pretend I didn't exist. I feel so tired. I feel so tired of being lonely. And forgotten. I just sit in my little corner of emptiness and loneliness and watch while "the sunsets for somebody else." Someone else got engaged. Someone else got married. Someone else had a baby. Someone else has a successful job. Someone else has a boyfriend. Someone else is "living the life" at college. Someone else is happy. But not me. I know I've seen your face somewhere Selling something, some big idea I know I've seen that vacant stare Selling sunsets for somebody else You find yourself asking y...

Song: September Artist: Earth, Wind & Fire What have you been doing tonight? Me? I've been sick! :( Stuffed up nose, plugged ears and a headache. Fun. But I had to dedicate this song ( again ) on this day because, well, it just makes sense. Happy September 21st!  ALSO: today is the last official day of "summer." Tomorrow:  FALL BEGINS!!! YAAAAAY!!! Do you remember the 21st night of September? Love was changing the minds of pretenders While chasing the clouds away Our hearts were ringing In the key that our souls were singing. As we danced in the night, Remember how the stars stole the night away Ba de ya - say do you remember Ba de ya - dancing in September Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day Ba duda, ba duda, ba duda, badu Ba duda, badu, ba duda, badu Ba duda, badu, ba duda My thoughts are with you Holding hands with your heart to see you Only blue talk and love, Remember how we knew love was here to stay Now December found the love we...

I honestly can't believe my birthday is here! I have just turned a quarter of a century OLD. How is that possible!?!? I don't feel old. I still feel like I'm 21. I have had very mixed emotions about my birthday this year, most particularly my age. Most of those emotions have been rather negative and depressing. I have mainly only focused on the negativity. And everything I've done wrong in my life. I haven't wanted to celebrate my birthday at all due to my insecurities and hatred of attention. I don't feel like there's anything worth celebrating about me. What have I done to receive any amount of celebration? My life isn't anywhere close to what I'd hoped for myself by the time I reached this monumental age. I feel so inexperienced and ridiculously pathetic for being a 25 year old. Yeah. It's been a struggle. I tried begging my family to not celebrate my birthday this year, but to no avail. I really do appreciate that about my family. I know th...

Song: Feather in the Wind Artist: Mindy Gledhill I've tried a little something new with my blog!! I'm really loving it and hope anyone who reads my blog will too. I've been cleaning out and organizing my bedroom these past couple of days. I feel like I need a new start. And with my birthday coming up, I feel like that's as good of a time as a "fresh start" as any. This song came to mind today and I feel like I can relate. It's really beautiful and soothing and all about change and changing and discovering who you are. And not being afraid where the wind will take you. I want that in my life. I want that freedom and lightness. I'm a feather in the wind I'm up and then I'm down again and though the places I have been to heavens gate and 'round the bend Things are never what They appear to be 'Cause everybody's trying to grab a hold of me So catch me if you can Set me free again Like a feather in the wind I'm a reflecti...